family guests

With guests, it gets a bit confusing for me what my role is.  It's a great dilemma for me that I'm still trying to find my way in.  The Turkish bride typically does all the work.  As a Christian I should be gladly serving people.  And, as a person - I do like to serve, help, and make people happy.

But as Scandinavian, or Protestant, Peterson or whatever you want to attribute this too - I don't like to pretend or perform.  Logic takes precedence of custom, and politeness means to do whats right in the situation.  So, I'm usually focused on my kids rather than what I should be doing for others.

With Emine abla it can be more confusing.  She seems to have brought "my bride" to fulfill this role - but she's 6 months pregnant and Emine abla is a machine in the kitchen, seemingly not needing help.  

When my sister-in-law would come - she'd do a similar thing - come in the kitchen and take over.  The was Turkish, and when I would stand foolishly around the kitchen offering my help for whatever she was planning on doing - her German side would answer, "No, I'll do it."  

Emine abla actually kicks me out of the kitchen.  

I have some cousins that would hand me a rag, or a tomato to cut - and I liked these cousins best, they included me, made use of me - and it was bonding.  The others feel like a hostile take over.  

Tolga was hiding upstairs.  I was feeding my kids as I usually do.  Gizem was half helping set the table and half following her daughter around with a spoon or fork of this or that.  Anne was sitting.  She said her back was horrible.  (She also didn't seem to know what to do).  Emine abla was working in the kitchen with  a lot of oil.  Another Turkish habit.

Our kids went over to the neighbors, Tolga found some more work to do .. and so did I actually.  I couldn't help clean up because I was chasing Tuana - I started to help, as usually - but as usual I'm pulled away.  Eventually Tolga got everyone out the door to the beach.  It was around noon - so I put Tuana to sleep upstairs.  While she slept I swept, vacuumed and mopped the house, washed the balcony, collected some dry clothes, hung some washed clothes, put another load in - and Tuana woke up.  We changed and joined the others in the heat of the day when the UV idex was 9.  Tolga, Emine abla, Gokalp abi, Tolga and Gizem were sitting under an umbrella.  Teoman, Tomris, and Duru were playing with a new boat - it was a large and hard inflatable row boat - not a toy, and just strong enough to use in the sea, at least near the shore.  Gokalp abi was desperate to go fishitng - and he and Tolga were planning their shoreline escapades.  The showed me the small worms they had collected from the sand.

I didn't know there were worms in the sand and gagged on the poagca I was eating.