When I first experienced a fire drill in Turkey - I was so horrified by the carelessness I was convinced everyone would die in a real fire. There was skipping and clapping and all around joy.
The Americans would NEVER do it that way. This is about safety. Insert 9/11 story about how everyone perfectly exited a building in a uniformed manner. And so, our fired drills here are much more rigid. It's been hard for the principal to get everyone to conform - even myself, as I've become used to the relaxed attitude rather than the silent march expectation. I've been scolded several times for allowing my students to jump up and down to keep warm - as it was naughty playing. Okay, maybe a few of them happened to be jumping in a puddled of water, formed in the grass on the field.
We had a fire drill today.
Wait. Excuse me. Our technology director told me in a passing huff, barely containing his excitement.
"There was a real fire in the kitchen."
Phew! I'm so glad we all got out.
It was during lunchtime - so though I didn't have a class, I went to the field, assuming I'd take my homeroom. I lined up in the new location that I was directed to last time - assuming the rest of the 5s, would follow my lead - but our real lead was back from her conference and began lining up the classes in the old spot. By the time I noticed it - she had at the same time and we made I contact. She hollered that the classes should be in order, ordering me over by her.
I motioned the grade lead over to me - telling her about the change.
And neither of us budged.
Sigh.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2017
don't look away
The panic and hysteria is endless. Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic, but it is tiresome.
I suppose at my old school I didn't understand half of what was going on, so while it was frustrating, I was was forced to adopt a go-with-the-flow attitude.
In an English speaking you'd think I'd know what's going on, but I'm still walking around with my hands up in the air.
I suppose the difference is - in my old school, if I made a mistake, I assume it was my fault - a language misunderstanding. Here, I'm prone to put up a fight. I don't want to fight, but I do have long term goals - a truly vested interest when I think of my children coming here.
8am, after my homeroom and during our "no transition" time, I had to leave my room for a minute to pick up the iPads from the office. I looked at my class and told those that were settling in that they had to get out of the classroom for a minute. They dutifully file out. I was back in 20 seconds and the Hawk was already there.
"Did you KNOW kids where in your room UNATTENDED?"
(Gasp!) "I told them to get out."
"Do you want me to talk to them?"
"Sure."
"This one especially!"
"I'll talk to him." (He's a new transfer to my class and has my son's name, so I must protect him.)
Twenty minutes later, the Hawk was in my room observing me. This is not a negative thing - I'm (almost) always prepared, I'm comfortable in my class, and for some odd reason - she never makes a negative comment, only encouraging.
I suppose at my old school I didn't understand half of what was going on, so while it was frustrating, I was was forced to adopt a go-with-the-flow attitude.
In an English speaking you'd think I'd know what's going on, but I'm still walking around with my hands up in the air.
I suppose the difference is - in my old school, if I made a mistake, I assume it was my fault - a language misunderstanding. Here, I'm prone to put up a fight. I don't want to fight, but I do have long term goals - a truly vested interest when I think of my children coming here.
8am, after my homeroom and during our "no transition" time, I had to leave my room for a minute to pick up the iPads from the office. I looked at my class and told those that were settling in that they had to get out of the classroom for a minute. They dutifully file out. I was back in 20 seconds and the Hawk was already there.
"Did you KNOW kids where in your room UNATTENDED?"
(Gasp!) "I told them to get out."
"Do you want me to talk to them?"
"Sure."
"This one especially!"
"I'll talk to him." (He's a new transfer to my class and has my son's name, so I must protect him.)
Twenty minutes later, the Hawk was in my room observing me. This is not a negative thing - I'm (almost) always prepared, I'm comfortable in my class, and for some odd reason - she never makes a negative comment, only encouraging.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
student's and technology
When I started teaching - my school in the ghetto of Brooklyn was part of a one-to-one initiative where all students received tablet PCs. It was there I was introduced into the intricate problems that come with students and technology. And sometimes not so intricate.
Me: Francisco! Stop! Pick up your tablet! What on earth are you doing? (Rhetorical, he was dragging the tablet on the ground, pulling it by its pen cord).
Student: I'm pretending it's my puppy.
In my well-to-do "Google" school, we have are issues as well. There are many problems I just couldn't predict because of my lack of experience. (However, I really wish the person who did it last year would have taught us a few things from her experience.) I finally took a lesson to address a few basics, that I only learned recently myself. Issues connected with sharing school iPads, Google drive, and basic responsibility and organization. (Although, I should have predicted the organization problem, its just that I was having such a hard time getting a handle on it myself!) And then there's those issues that only fifth graders can find...
Student: Arel is going to help me get 1000 subscribers.
Me: How?
Student: He's going to open 1000 gmail accounts and subscribe to my channel.
Goals.
Me: Francisco! Stop! Pick up your tablet! What on earth are you doing? (Rhetorical, he was dragging the tablet on the ground, pulling it by its pen cord).
Student: I'm pretending it's my puppy.
In my well-to-do "Google" school, we have are issues as well. There are many problems I just couldn't predict because of my lack of experience. (However, I really wish the person who did it last year would have taught us a few things from her experience.) I finally took a lesson to address a few basics, that I only learned recently myself. Issues connected with sharing school iPads, Google drive, and basic responsibility and organization. (Although, I should have predicted the organization problem, its just that I was having such a hard time getting a handle on it myself!) And then there's those issues that only fifth graders can find...
Student: Arel is going to help me get 1000 subscribers.
Me: How?
Student: He's going to open 1000 gmail accounts and subscribe to my channel.
Goals.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
me plus three
Tolga is away in the field, and Teoman has been asking me all week to take him somewhere - so I promised today we would.
We first went to the hospital for a check-up of Tuana. The interim doctor had found a bacteria in her urine and wanted to test her again. I was going on Saturday so we could see our regular doctor, as the interim doctor seemed to do too many tests and be over cautious.
Tuana herself had much more energy - she is back to her smiling and squealing self, minus the cough and nasal drainage. The doctor cleared her and we moved over to the mall.
Moving, is no small task with three young ones.
At the hospital, they have valet parking. It was full and the attendant suggested I park across the street on my own, and I flat out told him no - I have three small ones in the back.
He gave me the handicapped parking.
At the mall a similar thing happened. I left my car with the carwash attendants in the parking garage under the mall. When I collected my car, the attendant pulled it out of the tight spot he squeezed it into, then left it in the middle of the lane for me. I began the laborious process of buckling the kids in and packing up the trunk. An Audi was waiting. Another attendant asked me to move, and Tuana was screaming in the back (she was overtired, and I had kept them out too long). It's extremely easy to transfer the stress I am feeling over the kids to the nearest person - and so I let the young man have it: I did not park my car here. You guys did! If it were me, I would have parked it in place that I can load up my kids. But you put it here, and I have three small children to buckle up and stroller so help, or back off!
Malls in Ankara are always a nightmare after 2pm, and it was 3pm - I had broken my own rule and was paying for it. But I had taken the kids here because this is Teoman's latest craze: ice skating. They have set up a real rink outside the mall - and although the weather was below freezing - my kids were pretty psyched to go. The is Teoman's third time and he is zooming around already, falling and popping back up. Tomris is brave, but still can't stay up unless she's clinging to the side with both hands.
I watched from the sides with Tuana in my arms - poor Tuana was tired, and I later realized, maybe her feet were freezing... and I distracted her as long as I could - but eventually had to call it quits and get home. Those last 20 minutes when I've pushed it just a little too much, is much more costly with kids in tow.
We first went to the hospital for a check-up of Tuana. The interim doctor had found a bacteria in her urine and wanted to test her again. I was going on Saturday so we could see our regular doctor, as the interim doctor seemed to do too many tests and be over cautious.
Tuana herself had much more energy - she is back to her smiling and squealing self, minus the cough and nasal drainage. The doctor cleared her and we moved over to the mall.
Moving, is no small task with three young ones.
At the hospital, they have valet parking. It was full and the attendant suggested I park across the street on my own, and I flat out told him no - I have three small ones in the back.
He gave me the handicapped parking.
At the mall a similar thing happened. I left my car with the carwash attendants in the parking garage under the mall. When I collected my car, the attendant pulled it out of the tight spot he squeezed it into, then left it in the middle of the lane for me. I began the laborious process of buckling the kids in and packing up the trunk. An Audi was waiting. Another attendant asked me to move, and Tuana was screaming in the back (she was overtired, and I had kept them out too long). It's extremely easy to transfer the stress I am feeling over the kids to the nearest person - and so I let the young man have it: I did not park my car here. You guys did! If it were me, I would have parked it in place that I can load up my kids. But you put it here, and I have three small children to buckle up and stroller so help, or back off!
Malls in Ankara are always a nightmare after 2pm, and it was 3pm - I had broken my own rule and was paying for it. But I had taken the kids here because this is Teoman's latest craze: ice skating. They have set up a real rink outside the mall - and although the weather was below freezing - my kids were pretty psyched to go. The is Teoman's third time and he is zooming around already, falling and popping back up. Tomris is brave, but still can't stay up unless she's clinging to the side with both hands.
I watched from the sides with Tuana in my arms - poor Tuana was tired, and I later realized, maybe her feet were freezing... and I distracted her as long as I could - but eventually had to call it quits and get home. Those last 20 minutes when I've pushed it just a little too much, is much more costly with kids in tow.
Friday, January 27, 2017
needy twins.
I have twin girl students in my classes, and I met with their parents yesterday. The parents wanted to know why their girls grades weren't as good as last year.
I guessed at the transition from 4th to 5th being hard to manage - from a parental type classroom, to an independent style.
The girls are very cute and speak English well. They are always at the principals elbows. Literally. It's really cute and drives our principal made. They just smile, and blink their big eyes behind round glasses.
They aren't making friends easily - it is a new school for them. In class they've had to learn Turkish. As for English, they can talk your ear off, but they aren't very deep thinkers - in fact, they both have trouble holding a thought. I have the example of that morning.
Me: I'm going to give points to whoever can answer this question...
Twin: Me! Me! Me!
Me: Okay... blah blah blah ...
Twin: Um... what was the question?
Thursday, January 26, 2017
regulation versus freedom
When Turks ask me about the differences between America and Turkey - and assume America is such a better place - I generalize with the statement that America has more regulations. So, we have perfect sidewalks that are unbroken and the same width - shoveled within 24 hours of a snowstorm or somebody is getting fined or sued. Turkey you walk at your own risk.
In the schools - or at least in my two school experiences here - I found the first to stress image: the way we dressed, our ceremonies, having a native speaker, following ministry rules - over need. At my new school - image is disturbingly low on the list. Rules on the other hand, are very high.
In Turkey you must have a "duty" teacher overseeing the children. For some reason our school has been pretty lax on the rules, maybe because there are little consequences. Our principal has touted safety first, but sent mixed messages like a crazed woman by holding 8am meetings with the entire staff leaving the hallways and classrooms unattended. One morning, our principal kicked my students out of my room because I wasn't there. (It was passing time and I had gone to the bathroom).
The latest craze is:
No children shall be left unattended, ANYWHERE, EVER.
My principal was on me about that today because I had gone to the office to collect five iPads for my lesson during passing. I guess I was supposed to send everyone out of my room while I did that. I'm still not sure - it's a new rule. I have so many follow up questions and comments on this topic - if we are being technical - bathrooms? nurse pass? walking from the buses? school gates? Maybe it's time to build some cattle chutes...
I was also scolded for having my school badge in my hand, along with five iPads, rather than around my neck.
Americans LOVE rules. We are serving our fear of what ifs, and our belief that we can control outcomes - and living under the stress of the reality that we cannot. And the children, what are they learning from all of this?
I don't want to be negative. I am thinking long term, and how to affect change - but the now is pretty discouraging.
In the schools - or at least in my two school experiences here - I found the first to stress image: the way we dressed, our ceremonies, having a native speaker, following ministry rules - over need. At my new school - image is disturbingly low on the list. Rules on the other hand, are very high.
In Turkey you must have a "duty" teacher overseeing the children. For some reason our school has been pretty lax on the rules, maybe because there are little consequences. Our principal has touted safety first, but sent mixed messages like a crazed woman by holding 8am meetings with the entire staff leaving the hallways and classrooms unattended. One morning, our principal kicked my students out of my room because I wasn't there. (It was passing time and I had gone to the bathroom).
The latest craze is:
No children shall be left unattended, ANYWHERE, EVER.
My principal was on me about that today because I had gone to the office to collect five iPads for my lesson during passing. I guess I was supposed to send everyone out of my room while I did that. I'm still not sure - it's a new rule. I have so many follow up questions and comments on this topic - if we are being technical - bathrooms? nurse pass? walking from the buses? school gates? Maybe it's time to build some cattle chutes...
I was also scolded for having my school badge in my hand, along with five iPads, rather than around my neck.
Americans LOVE rules. We are serving our fear of what ifs, and our belief that we can control outcomes - and living under the stress of the reality that we cannot. And the children, what are they learning from all of this?
I don't want to be negative. I am thinking long term, and how to affect change - but the now is pretty discouraging.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
school marm vs BMW Turk
I park up by Teoman's pre-school then walk through the lojman - campus housing - down to the school. The busses and parents are zooming up and down the road - as per usual - much to all of the American's shock and horror. The international staff, for the most part don't experience what the rest of Turkey is like on the road. I was walking down to school and got the tail end of a woman in her early 60s clutching a walking stick and hollering at a BMW for speeding. The Beamer stopped, backed up, and rolled down his window and asked her name. She gave it without blinking and continued hollering at him, pointing her finger "NO, YOUR WERE GOING TOO FAST!" Like a good 'old school marm.
Turks are afraid of losing their jobs, they respect money and position. American's don't care. I'm right, you are wrong. Go ahead and fire me. (She said exactly that to me). Americans would gladly be sent back to America.
Turks are afraid of losing their jobs, they respect money and position. American's don't care. I'm right, you are wrong. Go ahead and fire me. (She said exactly that to me). Americans would gladly be sent back to America.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
wild baseless predictions are way more fun
We started a new reading book, Mrs. Frisby and the Rat's of NIMH. A great book that I've read before, and now I'm teaching my reading group.
I have fifth graders, but I have a homogenous low level reading group. My students have trouble with vocabulary, going deeper than the surface and literal meaning of anything.
They are eager and sweet, and their answers funny and exhausting at the same time.
It's really hard to get even a few pages done.
And reading strategies ... well they don't really work if your whole knowledge base is is all off. Heck, we hardly made it passed the cover.
Me: What do you see?
S: a rat!
Me: Are you sure it's a rat?
S: Yes, because it's in the title.
Me: Is it a male or female?
S: A male, because he has a beard!
Me: That's fur. All mice have fur.
S: But it looks like a beard!
Me: Those are whiskers. They all have that too.
S: But it could be a beard.
Me: Where is she?
S: In a barn!
Me: So where is the setting?
S: In a barn!
Me: I was looking for farm, but moving on...What genre is this book?
S: (blank stare)
Me: What type of book - fiction, non-fiction..
S: historical fiction!
Me: Who is the author?
S: There is no author!
(after some discussion on the problem, setting, etc.)
Me: Let's make a prediction about the story.
S: There's going to be a fire!
Me: No, not a wild guess, a prediction based on something I just read or something you see.
S: There's going to be a tornado!
Me: based on what?
S: The white background.
Me: Is that what a tornado looks like?
S2: Yes!
S3: Yeah! And she looks scared.
The characters is wearing a shawl, standing with her hands together holding a package. No wind. No tornado.
Their imaginations are wild and unhindered. It's one of the great parts of being a kid. You come up with wild and baseless ideas because you can. Your mind doesn't need to pause and look for evidence or logic. Boring! It's running free! Maybe this is the trade-off when I teach them logic and reasoning. They lose their exuberance.
I have fifth graders, but I have a homogenous low level reading group. My students have trouble with vocabulary, going deeper than the surface and literal meaning of anything.
They are eager and sweet, and their answers funny and exhausting at the same time.
It's really hard to get even a few pages done.
And reading strategies ... well they don't really work if your whole knowledge base is is all off. Heck, we hardly made it passed the cover.
Me: What do you see?
S: a rat!
Me: Are you sure it's a rat?
S: Yes, because it's in the title.
Me: Is it a male or female?
S: A male, because he has a beard!
Me: That's fur. All mice have fur.
S: But it looks like a beard!
Me: Those are whiskers. They all have that too.
S: But it could be a beard.
Me: Where is she?
S: In a barn!
Me: So where is the setting?
S: In a barn!
Me: I was looking for farm, but moving on...What genre is this book?
S: (blank stare)
Me: What type of book - fiction, non-fiction..
S: historical fiction!
Me: Who is the author?
S: There is no author!
(after some discussion on the problem, setting, etc.)
Me: Let's make a prediction about the story.
S: There's going to be a fire!
Me: No, not a wild guess, a prediction based on something I just read or something you see.
S: There's going to be a tornado!
Me: based on what?
S: The white background.
Me: Is that what a tornado looks like?
S2: Yes!
S3: Yeah! And she looks scared.
The characters is wearing a shawl, standing with her hands together holding a package. No wind. No tornado.
Their imaginations are wild and unhindered. It's one of the great parts of being a kid. You come up with wild and baseless ideas because you can. Your mind doesn't need to pause and look for evidence or logic. Boring! It's running free! Maybe this is the trade-off when I teach them logic and reasoning. They lose their exuberance.
Monday, January 23, 2017
work-ation
I practically ran out this morning. Tolga said he wanted to leave with me, and I said no way. Wait for the nanny - I'm out.
I called the nanny later and told her about Tuana's fevers and medicines, then joked about I was resting by going to work. Gokhan stayed home from work. That was a lot of dramatic coughing from that side of the house - either him or his mom. I think they were looking forward to the nanny coming as well. She prepares everyone food, serves tea, gives sympathetic words and directions to rest. She is very very kind.
Definitely kinder than I can manage.
When I came home, Anne had still been in bed. About an hour later she came out saying in the voice of the death:
Tuana. Yavrim. Kuzim.
Anne saw me, then cough, cough, cough, hos gelding, we're so sick. She then turned around and went back to bed.
I called the nanny later and told her about Tuana's fevers and medicines, then joked about I was resting by going to work. Gokhan stayed home from work. That was a lot of dramatic coughing from that side of the house - either him or his mom. I think they were looking forward to the nanny coming as well. She prepares everyone food, serves tea, gives sympathetic words and directions to rest. She is very very kind.
Definitely kinder than I can manage.
When I came home, Anne had still been in bed. About an hour later she came out saying in the voice of the death:
Tuana. Yavrim. Kuzim.
Anne saw me, then cough, cough, cough, hos gelding, we're so sick. She then turned around and went back to bed.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
7 out of 8
That's our house ratio of sick to well.
Okay, Teoman is better. Tomris is getting better. Tolga is getting better. Gokhan, Anne, and Baba are ill. It may be tiresome to read about, and that's just about how tiresome it is to hear about. I'll probably be eating my words in a few days... but the adults in this house are very shocked by their illness. Not go-to-the-doctor shocked, but:
Me: Anne, how are you?
Anne: (cough cough) Terrible
I swear she saved that cough for me.
Gokhan: Yavrim benim (talking to Tuana in my arms). Amca's really sick too.
Tolga: I just don't have energy. I am shaky.
All: That (fill in the blank) medicine is really good.
Tuana was in my arms all night again. Kicking with pain and irritation. Sleeping a restless sleep. Her eyes and face puffy and groggy with fever. My poor baby. She was by my side most of the day too - going up and down in her temperature and energy.
But still smiling and giggling here and there.
Okay, Teoman is better. Tomris is getting better. Tolga is getting better. Gokhan, Anne, and Baba are ill. It may be tiresome to read about, and that's just about how tiresome it is to hear about. I'll probably be eating my words in a few days... but the adults in this house are very shocked by their illness. Not go-to-the-doctor shocked, but:
Me: Anne, how are you?
Anne: (cough cough) Terrible
I swear she saved that cough for me.
Gokhan: Yavrim benim (talking to Tuana in my arms). Amca's really sick too.
Tolga: I just don't have energy. I am shaky.
All: That (fill in the blank) medicine is really good.
Tuana was in my arms all night again. Kicking with pain and irritation. Sleeping a restless sleep. Her eyes and face puffy and groggy with fever. My poor baby. She was by my side most of the day too - going up and down in her temperature and energy.
But still smiling and giggling here and there.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
It's official, It's the flu
Tuana held a high fever most of the night. I slept with her in my arms, putting cool packs behind her neck as her fever wouldn't break. Tomris still had hers too, but not as high.
After dragging my feet in the morning, we all went to the hospital once again. I was mostly worried about her throat and breathing sound, but other than that - she seemed quite happy.
The flu test came back positive, to which the doctor explained the other kids must have it too - because the test wasn't so reliable with it's negative results. He prescribed an anti-viral for Tomris and Tuana. Teoman seems to be even better, and his cough is calming down too.
I didn't know there was such a thing, an anti-viral, a flu medicine. I'm still a bit suspicious of it, I mean I remember having the flu many times as a child. There was nothing you could do but be miserable for five days - throwing up, fevers, achey bones.
I guess Tolga hasn't experienced it as much - describing his symptoms with shock: delirium, stomach numbness and tingling (yeah, I don't know what that symptom is about), low energy.
After dragging my feet in the morning, we all went to the hospital once again. I was mostly worried about her throat and breathing sound, but other than that - she seemed quite happy.
The flu test came back positive, to which the doctor explained the other kids must have it too - because the test wasn't so reliable with it's negative results. He prescribed an anti-viral for Tomris and Tuana. Teoman seems to be even better, and his cough is calming down too.
I didn't know there was such a thing, an anti-viral, a flu medicine. I'm still a bit suspicious of it, I mean I remember having the flu many times as a child. There was nothing you could do but be miserable for five days - throwing up, fevers, achey bones.
I guess Tolga hasn't experienced it as much - describing his symptoms with shock: delirium, stomach numbness and tingling (yeah, I don't know what that symptom is about), low energy.
Friday, January 20, 2017
the cultural divide
I could write a lot on this topic because I am living it everyday.
But I'm also trying to bridge it everyday.
At my former school - it was always fighting that feeling of being an outsider. It's an inevitable feeling, no matter how much I try to connect - it's like walking around with a big question mark. Did I understand this right? Did they understand me? What is going on here? Conversely, I inevitably feel something in me relax when I'm around people of my culture. I feel more confident, as if I understand that thoughts and intentions, which is ridiculous - but hey, they even get my jokes.
At my current school, there should be more people I connect with culturally, but instead I kind of don't like my culture anymore. I don't like how we obsess over rules, regulations and order. I don't like how we no longer sing the national anthem on Mondays and Fridays. I don't like how our students sit on the floor (a Turkish faux pa) but can't sit in the classrooms at lunchtime unattended.
The elementary school principal sent out a letter to all the parents explaining that cold weather, or change in weather specifically, doesn't cause sickness. The letter explained that on cold but sunny days above -5 degrees Celsius we would be playing outside, and it included five researched reasons why this was part of the curriculum.
I don't like the divide in the teachers. Newcomers to the country view everything as interesting. Those that stay, get comfortable with their ways and their international friends - and tired of the Turkish ways. The Turkish teachers drink their tea and coffee, socialize, and watch the foreigners come and go, or stay - but stay distant - as if they were the ones uprooted.
I also know I am good at my part because I like being here. I like my culture, and I like the Turkish-ness I've learned. I always believe community if for bringing out the best, and I'm always looking for it.
But I'm also trying to bridge it everyday.
At my former school - it was always fighting that feeling of being an outsider. It's an inevitable feeling, no matter how much I try to connect - it's like walking around with a big question mark. Did I understand this right? Did they understand me? What is going on here? Conversely, I inevitably feel something in me relax when I'm around people of my culture. I feel more confident, as if I understand that thoughts and intentions, which is ridiculous - but hey, they even get my jokes.
At my current school, there should be more people I connect with culturally, but instead I kind of don't like my culture anymore. I don't like how we obsess over rules, regulations and order. I don't like how we no longer sing the national anthem on Mondays and Fridays. I don't like how our students sit on the floor (a Turkish faux pa) but can't sit in the classrooms at lunchtime unattended.
The elementary school principal sent out a letter to all the parents explaining that cold weather, or change in weather specifically, doesn't cause sickness. The letter explained that on cold but sunny days above -5 degrees Celsius we would be playing outside, and it included five researched reasons why this was part of the curriculum.
I don't like the divide in the teachers. Newcomers to the country view everything as interesting. Those that stay, get comfortable with their ways and their international friends - and tired of the Turkish ways. The Turkish teachers drink their tea and coffee, socialize, and watch the foreigners come and go, or stay - but stay distant - as if they were the ones uprooted.
I also know I am good at my part because I like being here. I like my culture, and I like the Turkish-ness I've learned. I always believe community if for bringing out the best, and I'm always looking for it.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
I need a mask...
I don't know when my day started this morning - depend which time I got up (or did I sleep?). Last night it was Tomris with the high fever, over 102. Tolga was still miserable, Teoman slept okay other than a cough. He also had a fever, but not so high. I put everyone to bed - but still couldn't sleep early because I was going between them all.
In the night I could hear coughing coming from the other end of the hall. I couldn't tell if it was Baba or Gokhan. Turns out it was both. In the morning, I am usually getting up at 5 - but instead I was holding Tomris in a chair with an icepack - her cheeks were red, her hair was wild, her eye lids heavy but not sleeping.
I was late getting ready - and when I was ready to out the door, Tuana and I were the only ones awake. The door knocked, and suddenly Tolga popped up, Anne came around the bend. Zuleyha asked how we were,
Anne: I didn't sleep at all.
Blink Blink.
I left for work.
Tolga was going to bring the kids to the doctor in the morning, but he was doing pretty badly himself. After work, we all went to the hospital. Tomris had 103 fever now, Teoman a barking cough, and Tolga was downright ornery. Tolga and Tomris got chest x-rays, Tomris and Teoman got a steroid in nebulizer treatment, and Tomris got a few tests done for strep and flu, as well as some ibuprofen.
Tomris was negative on everything - but her tonsils are swollen, throat is red, voice, is hoarse, and coughing painfully. Tolga may have swine flu. Teoman has just a his cough now.
It's hard to know what to do - I was sent home with too many medicines for such little ones. Just hoping Tuana and I can hold out.
In the night I could hear coughing coming from the other end of the hall. I couldn't tell if it was Baba or Gokhan. Turns out it was both. In the morning, I am usually getting up at 5 - but instead I was holding Tomris in a chair with an icepack - her cheeks were red, her hair was wild, her eye lids heavy but not sleeping.
I was late getting ready - and when I was ready to out the door, Tuana and I were the only ones awake. The door knocked, and suddenly Tolga popped up, Anne came around the bend. Zuleyha asked how we were,
Anne: I didn't sleep at all.
Blink Blink.
I left for work.
Tolga was going to bring the kids to the doctor in the morning, but he was doing pretty badly himself. After work, we all went to the hospital. Tomris had 103 fever now, Teoman a barking cough, and Tolga was downright ornery. Tolga and Tomris got chest x-rays, Tomris and Teoman got a steroid in nebulizer treatment, and Tomris got a few tests done for strep and flu, as well as some ibuprofen.
Tomris was negative on everything - but her tonsils are swollen, throat is red, voice, is hoarse, and coughing painfully. Tolga may have swine flu. Teoman has just a his cough now.
It's hard to know what to do - I was sent home with too many medicines for such little ones. Just hoping Tuana and I can hold out.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
work and home
Because I am still on "milk permission", I get to leave school an hour-and-a-half early every day. They arranged my schedule accordingly. There are two days I have to leave a little bit later, and every day its at most an hour early, because I go up the hill to pick up Teoman - and by the time I've convinced him to stop playing in the snow, accept the fact that we are not going to his best friend Mina's, and whatever else delay plan he has - I've lost a half hour. Then I drive home - and at best I've got home half-an hour before the school day is finished.
But I'll take every minute.
This has made my job actually more difficult. My lessons are packed into the mornings from 8 to 1pm, then I eat, pump milk, have a meeting and leave. he car ride home, Teoman tends to sing songs at the top of his lungs. Made up songs about superheroes, bombs, Jesus, and snow, and I get home and its the kids that now need me from 4-9pm where I promptly pass out alongside of them from a non-stop day.
But it's a good day.
My English team had a meeting after I left yesterday - and for the first time this year - acted like a team. They got together, divided up sections of the next book we are teaching, and took different aspects. Not only that, of the five sections, one person volunteered to take my section because of my schedule and limited planning time.
I just felt this huge sigh. Finally a team - and then a huge bonus helping hand. I am so grateful.
But I'll take every minute.
This has made my job actually more difficult. My lessons are packed into the mornings from 8 to 1pm, then I eat, pump milk, have a meeting and leave. he car ride home, Teoman tends to sing songs at the top of his lungs. Made up songs about superheroes, bombs, Jesus, and snow, and I get home and its the kids that now need me from 4-9pm where I promptly pass out alongside of them from a non-stop day.
But it's a good day.
My English team had a meeting after I left yesterday - and for the first time this year - acted like a team. They got together, divided up sections of the next book we are teaching, and took different aspects. Not only that, of the five sections, one person volunteered to take my section because of my schedule and limited planning time.
I just felt this huge sigh. Finally a team - and then a huge bonus helping hand. I am so grateful.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
sick days
When I came home today, Anne and Baba were leaving the building. Anne looked mad.
Anne:"What can I do? He's so stubborn!"
Baba: (eyes wide and hands up, showing the number 6) Fifteen days! I'm so bored, I have to get out!
He was wearing sandals with wool socks. His regular shoes were on a permanent ankle-rolling slant because wouldn't bend over to put his shoes on - and he realized in the snow, they were downright dangerous. Neither of them had a jacket on.
Upstairs, Teoman and Tomris were laying on the couch. Tolga had turned on the television and went to bed. They both had headaches. First Tomris, who Tolga gave medicine, then Teoman, who I gave medicine. I checked on Tolga too - he'd been sleeping all day.
Tolga isn't lazy, but he won't miss a chance to sleep if he can take it. But he is rarely sick. He will sometimes say he feels like he's getting sick, and he'll wrap up in blanket until he sweats (his cure), or drink some grapefruit juice and oranges (cure #2) or take Theraflu (cure #3 , because he took it then sweated) - but I think this is the first time I've seen him with an actual fever. It was worrisome because it was moving past 102 and it wasn't breaking.
In the meantime, Baba was insisting Tolga bring him to the store to get new shoes.
I gave him some icepacks (my cure-all), and some ibuprofen (my cure-all #2). I sent the kids to bed soon after dinner, telling Anne that Tolga was especially ill.
She said, "I was so terrible this morning, but I took a shower and now I'm better."
As Tuana would say, in her phrase of the day keeps saying, "Uh-oh."
Anne:"What can I do? He's so stubborn!"
Baba: (eyes wide and hands up, showing the number 6) Fifteen days! I'm so bored, I have to get out!
He was wearing sandals with wool socks. His regular shoes were on a permanent ankle-rolling slant because wouldn't bend over to put his shoes on - and he realized in the snow, they were downright dangerous. Neither of them had a jacket on.
Upstairs, Teoman and Tomris were laying on the couch. Tolga had turned on the television and went to bed. They both had headaches. First Tomris, who Tolga gave medicine, then Teoman, who I gave medicine. I checked on Tolga too - he'd been sleeping all day.
Tolga isn't lazy, but he won't miss a chance to sleep if he can take it. But he is rarely sick. He will sometimes say he feels like he's getting sick, and he'll wrap up in blanket until he sweats (his cure), or drink some grapefruit juice and oranges (cure #2) or take Theraflu (cure #3 , because he took it then sweated) - but I think this is the first time I've seen him with an actual fever. It was worrisome because it was moving past 102 and it wasn't breaking.
In the meantime, Baba was insisting Tolga bring him to the store to get new shoes.
I gave him some icepacks (my cure-all), and some ibuprofen (my cure-all #2). I sent the kids to bed soon after dinner, telling Anne that Tolga was especially ill.
She said, "I was so terrible this morning, but I took a shower and now I'm better."
As Tuana would say, in her phrase of the day keeps saying, "Uh-oh."
Monday, January 16, 2017
little moments.
When I came home today this was my greeting:
Tuana: EEeeeehh! (Sees me, smiles, and lunges for me while my coat is on and hands are full)
Tomris: Mama! I hit Teoman and then said I'm sorry.
Teoman: Look what I made. It's a tree. The first one is the tree over there (pointing to the corner of the living room). The other one is outside.
Tuana: EEeeeehh! (Sees me, smiles, and lunges for me while my coat is on and hands are full)
Tomris: Mama! I hit Teoman and then said I'm sorry.
Teoman: Look what I made. It's a tree. The first one is the tree over there (pointing to the corner of the living room). The other one is outside.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
fighting illness
Hakan has moved to Germany with his wife and two children. He will work on getting his citizenship there, and travel back and forth to Kusadasi for work. He is in a similar situation that Tolga lived with me several years ago, not working, foreign country, little money, and so on - but more complicated as he must learn German, and he has two young children as well.
He called Tolga yesterday crying because of a dream he had. He dreamed Tolga was dying, and he kept telling him he was fine. He went to the grave, and wouldn't leave the coffin because Tolga was still talking to him. People told him to go, they must bury Tolga, and Hakan shouted:
Then bury me with him!
So dramatic, and so dear.
Tolga is fine, as far as we know, but Teoman seems to have the flu. We had gone to the doctor yesterday because his tonsils were swollen even though he'd just finished a round of antibiotics. We got home, and he started crashing - getting body aches and a headache. This morning her already had 101 fever so Tolga brought him to the doctor. He prescribed a new antibiotic and a three hour rotation of acetaminophen and ibuprofen. In the evening, Teoman took his medicines then through them up about an hour-an-a-half later. His fever was 102 and his breathing sounded funky so Tolga brought him back to the hospital. The doctor was concerned, did a couple of swab tests, but all came back negative.
He slept in our bed all night, his fever hovering at 101 most of the night. Our poor guy.
He called Tolga yesterday crying because of a dream he had. He dreamed Tolga was dying, and he kept telling him he was fine. He went to the grave, and wouldn't leave the coffin because Tolga was still talking to him. People told him to go, they must bury Tolga, and Hakan shouted:
Then bury me with him!
So dramatic, and so dear.
Tolga is fine, as far as we know, but Teoman seems to have the flu. We had gone to the doctor yesterday because his tonsils were swollen even though he'd just finished a round of antibiotics. We got home, and he started crashing - getting body aches and a headache. This morning her already had 101 fever so Tolga brought him to the doctor. He prescribed a new antibiotic and a three hour rotation of acetaminophen and ibuprofen. In the evening, Teoman took his medicines then through them up about an hour-an-a-half later. His fever was 102 and his breathing sounded funky so Tolga brought him back to the hospital. The doctor was concerned, did a couple of swab tests, but all came back negative.
He slept in our bed all night, his fever hovering at 101 most of the night. Our poor guy.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
ice skaters
I intend on starting my kids on a sport and an instrument when I find the time and a convenient place.
When I asked Teoman what sport he wanted, he said roller skating.
Behind the hospital is a mall - they have set up a real ice rink and rent out skates that are small enough for my kids.
They both were kind of stunned by the first experience. Teoman just stood there and didn't comprehend one thing the abi told him - I think he was too busy taking it all in. There are two that are on the ice coaching the kids along. Tomris was quicker to respond to directions about what to do with her feet. She took small steps and giggled a lot.
Teoman would only let go of the rail with one arm, and he took tentative steps. Tomris gripped with both hands, smiling, then she'd let go with both hands and fall on her butt and laugh.
They both loved it.
When I asked Teoman what sport he wanted, he said roller skating.
Behind the hospital is a mall - they have set up a real ice rink and rent out skates that are small enough for my kids.
They both were kind of stunned by the first experience. Teoman just stood there and didn't comprehend one thing the abi told him - I think he was too busy taking it all in. There are two that are on the ice coaching the kids along. Tomris was quicker to respond to directions about what to do with her feet. She took small steps and giggled a lot.
Teoman would only let go of the rail with one arm, and he took tentative steps. Tomris gripped with both hands, smiling, then she'd let go with both hands and fall on her butt and laugh.
They both loved it.
Friday, January 13, 2017
report cards
I have been teaching in Turkey for six years, but this is the first time I've been responsible for report cards -- that's how little responsibility I had at my old job, and that's how much it's increased here. I've been vaguely aware of the Ministry of Education's system here - that is very test heavy, but never responsible for it. All major subjects are required to have three exams a semester. So fifth graders will have one to two exams a week starting in October in order to meet this requirement.
In addition, we are required to do certain number of project grades - and we can define these to be whatever we wish.
So in line with my English team, I'm grading my last project this weekend, then entering lots of grades into two grading systems - the country's overloaded net, and the school's.
In addition, we are required to do certain number of project grades - and we can define these to be whatever we wish.
So in line with my English team, I'm grading my last project this weekend, then entering lots of grades into two grading systems - the country's overloaded net, and the school's.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
the state of things
I miss my old school - the friends I had there, the freedom, the low stress. But, even with this hard transition to a new job filled with over achieving all-is-bright-and-sunny Americans...I'm still glad for the switch:
1) Teoman is happy at his preschool and I am too. I like his preschool so much, I kind of want to teach there instead of the middle school.
2) I like the smaller size
3) My friends at the old school said everything got worse, they are miserable robots
4) My salary is now based in the dollar, and even thought I don't get a raise, my salary has gone up since being hired when it was 2.9 lire per dollar to the current 3.8 lire per dollar... slightly worrisome for the state of the country.
1) Teoman is happy at his preschool and I am too. I like his preschool so much, I kind of want to teach there instead of the middle school.
2) I like the smaller size
3) My friends at the old school said everything got worse, they are miserable robots
4) My salary is now based in the dollar, and even thought I don't get a raise, my salary has gone up since being hired when it was 2.9 lire per dollar to the current 3.8 lire per dollar... slightly worrisome for the state of the country.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
that laugh
With Tuana teething these days, she's been a restless sleeper. I'm losing sleep too - but I also feel constantly aware of how short this time is.
Tuana is usually in good spirits in spite of her teething pain. She just fights sleep. She lays on my, rotates, nurse, sits up and looks me directly in the eye putting on a big chubby cheeked two-tooth smile - and gives a little giggle.
The racal's supposed to be sleeping.
Tuana is usually in good spirits in spite of her teething pain. She just fights sleep. She lays on my, rotates, nurse, sits up and looks me directly in the eye putting on a big chubby cheeked two-tooth smile - and gives a little giggle.
The racal's supposed to be sleeping.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
marking the month
Today is Tolga's fake birthday. Or his legal birthday. But not his real birthday. His real birthday is on Christmas. His legal birthday - the one on his national ID card and passport - January 10th.
I call it his fake birthday.
He calls it our birthday.
I celebrated with coffee and donuts this morning. The donuts were a rare find the day before and a spur of the moment. That's all we had time for today.
It's also Tuana's mile marker - she is 11 months old today. Two more teeth are almost out on the bottom, none on the top yet - but getting closer. She has mysterious slight bruise on her cheek. She cries when I pick up a crying Tomris. She is crawling faster and starting to pull herself up ... behind Teoman and Tomris's timeline. She makes it very clear about what she wants - and its usually the same toys and food that everybody else is playing with.
She is so precious.
I call it his fake birthday.
He calls it our birthday.
I celebrated with coffee and donuts this morning. The donuts were a rare find the day before and a spur of the moment. That's all we had time for today.
It's also Tuana's mile marker - she is 11 months old today. Two more teeth are almost out on the bottom, none on the top yet - but getting closer. She has mysterious slight bruise on her cheek. She cries when I pick up a crying Tomris. She is crawling faster and starting to pull herself up ... behind Teoman and Tomris's timeline. She makes it very clear about what she wants - and its usually the same toys and food that everybody else is playing with.
She is so precious.
Monday, January 9, 2017
human flaws start young
Tomris hurt her foot on the door. I picked her up to comfort her, and Tuana - watching the whole thing carefully - immediately starting crying and coming after me.
I didn't know 10 month olds could be jealous.
Tuana is always watching her brother and sister and communicating quite clearly with her noises, her pointing, her eyes.
She's not even a year, and seems to insist with her little baby thoughts, on the same toys, the same foods.
It's pretty amazing - every little thing these little ones do.
I didn't know 10 month olds could be jealous.
Tuana is always watching her brother and sister and communicating quite clearly with her noises, her pointing, her eyes.
She's not even a year, and seems to insist with her little baby thoughts, on the same toys, the same foods.
It's pretty amazing - every little thing these little ones do.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
somethings don't change
We were on a video chat with my father last night. It was brief - but it was such a snippet of my whole childhood.
Cold and dry air. I could feel it through the screen. Pops was over at Seth's investment property - helping fix it up. He scanned the property for us with the camera - ripped up carpet, walls in the midst of painting, large windows, a back yard, wires, doors off hinges being painted.
I asked my Pops if he was there to hold the light. That was my job when I was young - a boring job that I never took serious enough to learn anything. Besides, when I tried to learn something, my Pops would get annoyed that my head was blocking the light.
Pops: You gonna put something under that door?
I started giggling. I couldn't help it. There were so many things behind that comment. It was so much of my dad, and Seth, and us - just captured in such a small exchange.
I could see Seth's gloved hands drilling the hinges of the door. There's the wealth of my family - tools, equipment, and basic skills.
Pops: I'm going to put something under that door.
Cold and dry air. I could feel it through the screen. Pops was over at Seth's investment property - helping fix it up. He scanned the property for us with the camera - ripped up carpet, walls in the midst of painting, large windows, a back yard, wires, doors off hinges being painted.
I asked my Pops if he was there to hold the light. That was my job when I was young - a boring job that I never took serious enough to learn anything. Besides, when I tried to learn something, my Pops would get annoyed that my head was blocking the light.
Pops: You gonna put something under that door?
I started giggling. I couldn't help it. There were so many things behind that comment. It was so much of my dad, and Seth, and us - just captured in such a small exchange.
I could see Seth's gloved hands drilling the hinges of the door. There's the wealth of my family - tools, equipment, and basic skills.
Pops: I'm going to put something under that door.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
sounds of my house
EEerrrrrreeereeereereeereeesseerreereerrrrrrrrr.
That's the sound of Baba's hearing aid. Constantly. He occasionally "cleans the pipes", adjusts the sound. He mumbles reasons why, and motions with his hand like he'll take care of it, or some other open-for-interpretation gesture. I don't know really. There's a lot of things I don't know.
Shhhssht. Shhhsht. Shhhsht. Shhtsht. That's the sound of Gokhan dragging his slippered feet through the house. I downstairs neighbor occasionally complains.
Ppppfffft! pffffffftT pfffft! That's the sound of Anne cleaning her nose in the bathroom sink. It's a cultural thing.
That's the sound of Baba's hearing aid. Constantly. He occasionally "cleans the pipes", adjusts the sound. He mumbles reasons why, and motions with his hand like he'll take care of it, or some other open-for-interpretation gesture. I don't know really. There's a lot of things I don't know.
Shhhssht. Shhhsht. Shhhsht. Shhtsht. That's the sound of Gokhan dragging his slippered feet through the house. I downstairs neighbor occasionally complains.
Ppppfffft! pffffffftT pfffft! That's the sound of Anne cleaning her nose in the bathroom sink. It's a cultural thing.
Friday, January 6, 2017
awkward silence
you know that silence after someone has said something that was borderline confrontative, and the room takes a collective breath and holds it - waiting for the next move, the one that will really cut everything loose?
Yeah that silence.
I wish we could just get to the point, cut to the chase - this is wrong, this needs to be fixed - and egos and personal agendas didn't have to be worried about.
Yeah that silence.
I wish we could just get to the point, cut to the chase - this is wrong, this needs to be fixed - and egos and personal agendas didn't have to be worried about.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
the three little ones
Teoman is going and coming to school with me each day. He's started pre-school and it's bitter-sweet. He dresses himself, changes his shoes, comes home exhausted, and now insists on his bed because thats what his friends do. The kids often get up in the night and crawl in, but this week - the one time Teoman woke up, he asked his Baba to come to his room and scratch his back so he could fall back asleep.
Tomris insists on sleeping with Babanne. Tuana is in the crib.
Tomris cried immediately when I told her to come to bed - insisting to sleep with Babanne.
Humph.
traitor.
I can hear them talking and giggling in their room. I'm imagining her waking up late tomorrow, sleeping late for nap, and going to bed late tomorrow night. And then three months later, Babanne will go to Kusdasi, and then what will my daughter do?
I should probably get control of this situation - but may another night.
Tomris insists on sleeping with Babanne. Tuana is in the crib.
Tomris cried immediately when I told her to come to bed - insisting to sleep with Babanne.
Humph.
traitor.
I can hear them talking and giggling in their room. I'm imagining her waking up late tomorrow, sleeping late for nap, and going to bed late tomorrow night. And then three months later, Babanne will go to Kusdasi, and then what will my daughter do?
I should probably get control of this situation - but may another night.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
everybody's here
Except Tolga.
He went to the field yesterday morning for a short trip near the Black Sea Coast. He says the weather is more mild.
While Ankara is cold and snowy. I supposed it's around 20 degrees - which is cold for Ankara, and about a foot of snow everywhere - which I love. As long as the roads are dry.
Anne and Baba came back with us. So now it's Tuana in a crib in our room, Teoman and Tomris in their room (theoretically), Anne and Baba in the third room, and Gokhan moving out of his parent's back to the small fourth room.
Baba is already bored I guess. Because when our nanny couldn't go to the market, he starting making plans to go himself. Our nanny graciously stepped in and said she'd do it. Teoman and Tomris love having their BEST playmate here - their Babanne.
And I'm happy to have full house too.
He went to the field yesterday morning for a short trip near the Black Sea Coast. He says the weather is more mild.
While Ankara is cold and snowy. I supposed it's around 20 degrees - which is cold for Ankara, and about a foot of snow everywhere - which I love. As long as the roads are dry.
Anne and Baba came back with us. So now it's Tuana in a crib in our room, Teoman and Tomris in their room (theoretically), Anne and Baba in the third room, and Gokhan moving out of his parent's back to the small fourth room.
Baba is already bored I guess. Because when our nanny couldn't go to the market, he starting making plans to go himself. Our nanny graciously stepped in and said she'd do it. Teoman and Tomris love having their BEST playmate here - their Babanne.
And I'm happy to have full house too.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
we all want the best of all... I think
I was listenting to a podcast sermon the other day and the speaker talked about reconciliation needing four different parts: peace, justice, truth, and mercy. He said most of us have one that we are strongest at - and I knew mine right away. Truth. What's really going on here? It's the question I always ask. The speaker's point was - even on your best day, you only bring 25% what is needed to the table. His point was to LISTEN.
Good point.
This is was on my mind when handling a difficult parent. She has been haunting me over the holidays about a grade her son got due to poor group work. She wanted me to give her son a separate and higher grade than the others so that his grade point average would be enough points to be considered "very good".
She copied a lot of people on the email and no one agreed with her, and the administrators were mad at her unethical request.
I just felt bad for her. I have both her sons. Fraternal twins. She is trying to be a good parent. Aren't we all? She is trying to advocate for her son. I get that. I think she should. I asked her to wait and come in on Thursday but I was pulled out of class to talk to her today - with the principal. Who told her, maybe not so clearly, that we would not change the grade.
The mom hung onto her argument while agreeing with her words. There was my agenda driven principal whose plate is always full. There was the anxiety-ridden parent on the verge of losing control of her pre-teen boys. And there was me - I don't care if there parent is bullying me, I don't care about changing the grade for reasonable reasons ... I don't mind defending my grade, and I don't mind being convinced otherwise.
It's not a big deal. It's the fifth grade.
Is our hardline really worth all of this mother's stress?
Good point.
This is was on my mind when handling a difficult parent. She has been haunting me over the holidays about a grade her son got due to poor group work. She wanted me to give her son a separate and higher grade than the others so that his grade point average would be enough points to be considered "very good".
She copied a lot of people on the email and no one agreed with her, and the administrators were mad at her unethical request.
I just felt bad for her. I have both her sons. Fraternal twins. She is trying to be a good parent. Aren't we all? She is trying to advocate for her son. I get that. I think she should. I asked her to wait and come in on Thursday but I was pulled out of class to talk to her today - with the principal. Who told her, maybe not so clearly, that we would not change the grade.
The mom hung onto her argument while agreeing with her words. There was my agenda driven principal whose plate is always full. There was the anxiety-ridden parent on the verge of losing control of her pre-teen boys. And there was me - I don't care if there parent is bullying me, I don't care about changing the grade for reasonable reasons ... I don't mind defending my grade, and I don't mind being convinced otherwise.
It's not a big deal. It's the fifth grade.
Is our hardline really worth all of this mother's stress?
Monday, January 2, 2017
back to school
In the previous years - I did not have Christmas break, because of course, as this is muslim country - their traditional break is 1 or 2 days for New Years, and then a semester/winter break in the end of January. We will not have a break then - but for the first time in 5 or 6 years - I got my Christmas break back.
Today was our first day back and I went to bed anxious and frustrated by all the internal problems we are having in school - however, it's a good feeling that I still enjoy teaching. My students are sweet and cute and were excited to be back. I was happy to see them, they were happy to see me.
Our principal came in to say good morning, liked what she saw, and sat down to do on-the-spot observation. She is unusually positive in her observations - she never has a negative thing to say, not even a slightest suggestion. She's not as patient as I when it comes to student responses and wrong answers, often jumping in to correct them or impart her own knowledge. Eager beaver. But her positivity is encouraging, and a bit unbelievable. My natural response is to dismiss all of her positive feedback and wait for the criticism - feedback that I wouldn't mind even. But I haven't heard it yet.
Today was our first day back and I went to bed anxious and frustrated by all the internal problems we are having in school - however, it's a good feeling that I still enjoy teaching. My students are sweet and cute and were excited to be back. I was happy to see them, they were happy to see me.
Our principal came in to say good morning, liked what she saw, and sat down to do on-the-spot observation. She is unusually positive in her observations - she never has a negative thing to say, not even a slightest suggestion. She's not as patient as I when it comes to student responses and wrong answers, often jumping in to correct them or impart her own knowledge. Eager beaver. But her positivity is encouraging, and a bit unbelievable. My natural response is to dismiss all of her positive feedback and wait for the criticism - feedback that I wouldn't mind even. But I haven't heard it yet.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
New Year - New Unrealistic Goals
I know I'm setting myself up here ... but I also have a REALLY hard time letting go of ALL THE THINGS I want to do. Even today - on the first day of the year - I am already going to bed as a failure because I haven't accomplished the things I wanted to do today.
I switching this to the positive RIGHT NOW, so I'll list the things I DID accomplish.
I had coffee this morning.
I ate pancakes.
We took the kids out in the snow and did tubing.
We got the kids to clean up their toys.
We put two of three asleep.
I got half of my lesson plans done and all of my reading group emails finished.
Tuana just pooped - so I think she WILL sleep now.
I switching this to the positive RIGHT NOW, so I'll list the things I DID accomplish.
I had coffee this morning.
I ate pancakes.
We took the kids out in the snow and did tubing.
We got the kids to clean up their toys.
We put two of three asleep.
I got half of my lesson plans done and all of my reading group emails finished.
Tuana just pooped - so I think she WILL sleep now.
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