our other children . ..

Our guest left this morning - rested, loaded with home-cooked food, new tire spokes on his wheels and warm/water proofed boots on his feet.

Anne and I walked to the market to get some food.  I warned Anne that I didn't have much until we get paid three days later, and she understood.  Our fridge was cleaned out and we blew our grocery budget for January somewhere around December 31st.  We picked up some vegetables, milk, eggs, and various things and somehow bought everything we needed with every last lire in my wallet.

Gokhan showed up at the market just as we were finishing.  He had 10 lire and had come to buy eggs.  I was a little shocked to see him so soon, he had an interview that morning and he seemed excited by it.  His timing was perfect to help carry the groceries back.

We all went to work when we got home.  Well, all of us except Baba.  Baba was sleeping on the couch.

Anne started cooking food, Gokhan vacuumed the living room, and I began sweeping, mopping and scrubbing all the soil left behind from our world traveler.  At some point, Baba got up, dressed, and went out.  He usually goes to the cafe next door to sit with the old man and chat over tea.  This time he came back a half-an-hour later with more groceries.

I was kind of mad.  We had been tight all month with food, I just spent every last lire I had, and here he had some money and showed up with more groceries.


Baba sat at the table overseeing the cooking, and pouring his parsley tea water into jars for drinking later.  I read you are supposed to boil parsley for 5-10 minutes, but Baba boiled it for over an hour, then let it sit overnight to cool.  I continued cleaning and Anne continued grunting over the stove.  When she is working hard she has the bad habit of holding her breath and so alternates between not breathing and grunting.


Anne finally finished her cooking and went to lie down.  I finished my cleaning and was about to do the same.  Baba was still rooting around in the kitchen, and opened the fridge to fast.  The glass bottle of fresh milk fell out of the doors and shattered on the floor.  Baba was mad that someone put the milk in the shallow door shelf.  I was mad that the milk I just bought with my last money was now gone.  Anne was mad that she had to clean it up.  (She wouldn't let me and Baba was still kind of standing in the middle of the spilled milk not sure what to do.)  I hadn't mopped the kitchen yet, but had the bucket prepared already - Anne cleaned it all up then dumped the dirty mop water in the bathtub I had just been leaning over and scrubbing with my 39-weeks-pregnant belly.

I had been hoping to take a bath . . .

Baba's weight loss program

Baba was napping on the couch and woke up to ask me for the scale so he could weigh himself.  I've been somewhat of a food Nazi in the house when it comes to sugar and salt, and Baba has seemed to become motivated to lose weight.  He's been pretty good about it, but breaks down now and then.  

Last night I made a rosemary-lemon chicken with potatoes and broccoli.  I served the plates, only giving Baba two small wedges of potatoes and lots of broccoli.  We have salt in the house, and low-sodium salt in the house - but Tolga threw both of these across the room the other night when his father stubbornly continued to powder his food with salt.  In his sweetest voice, Baba asked Tolga to put the salt on his food for him.  A fair compromise.  Tolga did, but later, Baba couldn't finish his food because "Tuz suz" - there wasn't any salt.  

I made popcorn later - it's a light tasty food, and Gokhan added the reduced-sodium salt.  Baba sat at the table next to the bowl and eventually cradled the bowl on the couch keeping it for himself.  

I often here him scuffling along the hallway in the night to visit the toilet and the fridge.  We pass sometimes in our nightly outings, and I've caught him rooting around the fridge, drinking milk out of the carton, and eating bread.  This is why I am only slightly impressed when Baba is only having warm milk with two fake sugars for breakfast.  

This morning I was putting the breakfast dishes in the fridge, and he went to grab an olive - unable to resist its salty call.  I offered to leave the foods on the table, and with renewed determination he told me, "Sut, sadace sut sabah icin."  (Milk.  Only milk in the morning).  

Baba learned somewhere about the miracle effects of parsley tea.  He had brought home 4 kilos of parsley and boiled it.  Parsley tea has many benefits including helping with rheumatism (which he has), detoxification, digestion, lots of vitamin C,  and works as a diuretic - all things Baba desperately needs.  But when you ask him, the benefit he touts is a motion with his hand that indicates it simply makes him go to the bathroom quite effectively.  

When he weighed himself this morning, he was 113 kilos - about 250 lbs.  He actually squealed with excitement and gave me a kiss on both cheeks and then went and took a nap of contentment.

around the world in . . .

We had a visitor for the last four days - a boy who is biking around the world.  He left in 2008 and came into our home muddy, cold, hungry and soaking wet.

A friend of mine directed him to us, thinking we'd put him up - which I was happy too, but his arrival date started getting closer and closer to my due date so I was more hesitant to host him.  As he delayed the trip more, I indicated I was 9 months pregnant - but he understood that my due date was Feb 6th so that's when he believed the baby was coming.  I let him know that we had a full house and only shared couch space (Gokhan is sleeping on the couch these days), and he said, "Great!"  So, the baby didn't come yet, but the world traveler did.

He hauled up his bike, camping gear, snow from day and soil from the last five countries.  He took a hot shower, washed his clothes, ate some soup, and ate dinner with us again an hour later.  He had an inflatable globe of the world where he had marked his trail across the world.  He had a t-shirt that he had sewn flags from each country too.  Gokhan could identify almost all of the flags in the first guess.

We shared travel stories, and he asked if I missed traveling.  And it's odd, but I don't.  I knew when I took the year trip that I was done as a traveller.  The trip was just what I dreamed of, and while there are places I'd like to go to - and week-long or two-week trips sound great to me, I am satisfied with my traveling experience.  I've never really been interested in Africa or Australia, for no particular reason.  I'd like to visit Columbia, the Bahamas, New Zealand, and some really luxurious resort in Southeast Asia.  Maybe do the TransSiberian Railway.  But only if I can share these adventures with my husband.

waiting for baby

Now, we're all waiting.  I feel heavier, achier, more heart-burnier.  Sometimes I sleep hard, sometimes I'm not sleeping at all.  I'm walking to Tolga's work on icy roads, but I don't feel unsteady - in fact I'm sure my brother-in-law will fall before I do with is toe stepping and slick bottomed shoes.

Tolga's mom was worried my uterus would get cold because I wasn't wearing socks the other day.  But she didn't push the issue.  Gokhan got teary eyed when he felt a my stomach move.  His dad cried when asking whether I'd spoken to my mom.  (He felt bad, and then started missing his own mother).

And me?  I don't know what to think.  I'm in a foreign country, with foreign people, doing something completely foreign to me.  It's all out of my hands.

holiday break . . .

My last day of work was Friday.  It was also the last day of school before winter break - so everybody was packing it up for the holiday.  I was busy wrapping up many things and trying to leave with things in order to make an easy transition to the next teacher.  I prepared as much as I could, and accepted that I couldn't do it all, and as I was leaving I realized that I didn't feel the overwhelming sense of relief and freedom that I expected.

I felt a little panicked.

My mind switched full force to "the baby is coming" and I started creating things in my mind that we had to buy: a different type of night gown for me, a baby tub, a nose cleaner thing . . .

Nothing really important I guess, but it all felt really important at once.

I tried to watch some videos on labor and delivery.


It didn't help.

The Notar

Tolga and I had to go to the notary today.  We're getting a loan to buy out of his military service.  The loan is going under my name which gives me heart palpitations, and the notary is for Tolga - he will be my guarantor, meaning if anything happens so that I can't pay back the loan with 300% interest, he'll pay it back.

This is Turkey.

The notary was a busy office, five desks in a cramped room.  Our noter was the first Turk I've seen who could type without looking at the keyboard.  But, it looked like fake typing.  He was hammering down his fingers in the seemingly same place while watching his computer screen.  He was wearing a plaid patterned blazer of brushed blue wool.  His dress shirt were wide dark vertical stripes with the collar and cuff stripes going in a horizontal direction.  His tie was a dark blue with white paisley floors.

We handed over the form and Tolga's co-worker translated.  I'm not sure what she translated - she actually dictated the letter to the notary and told me later the form used words that she didn't even recognize as Turkish.  We had the form signed and stamped and two more stations and paid 130 TL.

Now I guess we'll get the loan.

mom's birth experience

My mother told me last night that everyone at her work wants to know if an epidural is a part of my birth plan.  (She doesn't read my blog).  Her co-workers are nurses in the OB ward, so this is a step up from Kelly-the-barber asking.  I asked my mom, "Why are they so curious? (Does it matter?)"  I guess they just wanted to know because everyone comes in with a birth plan nowadays . . . and most underestimate their abilities.

"What do you think mom?"
"Well, it depends on the labor.  All my labors were really short.  Maybe 15 hard pushes.  With you guys I had terrible back labor.  You should read about the different positions and breathing techniques that can help."
"I was planning on an epidural - I have no fantasies about wanting to feel my body tear apart."
"I think if they had epidurals then, I would have seriously considered it - but I think it all depends on how the labor goes.  Mine would have been too quick I think.  I also think they would have done a C-section on me with you guys these days - I'm sure you're heart rate dropped having been thirteen minutes in between deliveries."
"I know Aaron and I were 5 1/2 weeks early.  How close were you to your due dates with the others?"
"Seth (the first born) I was two weeks early . . ."

It was nice to hear what my mom thinks and remembers . . . I don't feel like I often get my mom's true thoughts, but it's something I find very comforting.

She's one of several I've heard had their first born two weeks early.  For me, that's this coming Monday.  I can hardly imagine.

jitters?

I think I overdid it on Friday.

It was a busy day at school, but I'm feeling the added pressure of wanting to wrap things up with classes, finish grading and plans.  I'm waiting on my work visa/resident permit so I don't get shipped off to Serbia for the birth.  Tolga and I are both nervous about the possibility that he'll have to be out-of-town.  In the front of my mind are things to do for the baby too: wash clothes, set up 2nd crib in our room, prepare hospital bag, find a book about what to do with a newborn . . .

We are both excited and nervous and excited and nervous.

Friday I came home with a headache and it stayed with me all night until the early hours of the morning.  I dreamed all night of our baby's hands and feet - feeling them through my belly.  I slept on and off for maybe 14 hours.  Had breakfast, and took another two hour nap.

I'm kind of impressed.

kinds of support and lack

Concern:
My student was so impressed with me today.  She couldn't believe I was standing on tip-toe when I was pregnant.  According to her, I was "so brave!"

I dropped some booklets and wasn't allowed to bend over and pick them up.

The lunch workers won't let me refuse soup.  I don't like soup.  But they fuss even when I try to convince them to pour me less.  They say, "But it's beautiful soup!"

My colleagues put fruit or cookies on my desk.  Actually, not for me - they say - for my baby.

No concern:
Tolga's boss, and his boss's wife think it's no problem to send Tolga to another city for five days when I'm 38 weeks pregnant.

Human Resources didn't renew my work/resident permit in time, but plan on fixing this by taking me to the government offices in the beginning of February.  I guess I get to choose whether I bring my few days old baby or not.

birth plan?

I'm reading a book about birth plans.  About the different options in America - hospitals, birth centers, free-standing clinics.  The whole point of the book is to take control of the birth experience, or, as much as you can.  From the anecdotes, it sounds like America's obstetrics are out of control - that it's a crap shoot as to whether you'll have a good experience or not.  That - in spite of the woman's nature to pester and ask too many annoying questions in order to control outcomes, laboring mom's are often at the mercy of hospital policies and insurances.

The book gives a list of questions anyhow - suggestions of how to find the right place, a place that will fit your birth plan.

I'm 35 weeks and going to the doctor today.  In some ways, the book has helped because I realize it can be just as scary in America.  In other ways, everything is a huge question mark for me, having a baby in another country.

I wonder how she'll feel about my birth plan:

Can you speak only English so I know what's going on to?
Will you ask/tell me before sticking and doing things to me? (and not give me answers like: this is to make you feel better - like I'm five years old?)
Can I move around in the hospital or will I be strapped down for an indefinite period?
What kind of monitoring do you do?
Do I get a say as to whether I get different drugs or not?
Will I get to hold our baby right away or are you going to take the baby away and hide him somewhere for a few hours?
Can you keep my in-laws and visitors from coming into the room . . .ever?