the closets

The carpenters came today to discuss some mistakes in the building.  I'm naive in all things construction related and I don't know when or how to convey what I want, relinquish or demand, trust or insist.

It's always on my mind, that obnoxious American way that insists on getting their money's worth from a service, and insisting on perfection or what not with customer power.  

In my last visit to Minnesota - it was a terribly hot and humid day and my father had called the cable guy to come and fix a cable in our attic.  When the young man came, and realized the problem and that fixing it meant crawling around in our suffocating hot attic - he declined.
"I will come back and take care of this in a few days."
"What do you mean you'll come back.  Why not do it now?"
"It's too hot."
"It's your job."
"My boss said not to because it's too hot."
"I think you can manage it, it is your job," my father insisted.

My mother and I weren't sure what to do - we both were siding with my the young man.  Not to gang up on my father, but he sure sounded like a stubborn and cranky old codger.

I don't know where that line is - but I am very aware of the attitude in me - the expectation and judgment rather than kindness and mercy.

Tolga's really good at being kind, thankfully.  We pointed out some crooked shelves, and showed our disapproval of the mangled molding.  I showed my mistake and misunderstanding about the the shelves backing and the size of a corner closet - and the owner's assistant smiled pleasantly and promised to fix everything.  He also told me my Turkish was good.

I told Tolga, "I'm not sure if they are super nice, or just knew what to say."

The problems that may not be fixed:
Our corner cabinet.  I had imagined white and fitting in the corner.  It is wooden, shiny, and filling up the corner - coming about a foot further than I imagined.  I had showed the worker the mark, he showed me further out - and I thought, oh, yes, bigger IS better.   And I didn't consider the door wouldn't be able to open fully, not did I considered the monstrosity that would be in the corner outside our door - sorely sticking out in it's wood color set against everything white.

The stain.  I had asked for an antique stain.  Later, my brother wanted to know what I mean by that - apparently its not a thing, or a thing that's different with each type of wood.  I had sent a picture, and the men said, no problem, no problem - but then, after the two week job turned into two months - they asked me while I was in the midst of entering grades and that meltdown - which color I liked best.  None were what I asked.  When I said none, I was told I had to pick one.  I had picked one months ago - and no one mentioned it couldn't be done.  So after being pushed into a choice - I suppose it would have been okay - but the lacquered it.  I don't know if that's the right word.  But when I think of the closets now I think of our furniture from the 70s - shiny.

tortuga

Months before school ended, the kids were talking about going on the waterslides in Kusadasi.  I promised we would that first week with their Baba.  They've been asking since we got here, but because of poorly applied sun block on the first beach day - I've been fully clothing them and limiting their time outdoors.

We went today - and I was diligent in applying and reapplying the sunblock every couple of hours, as well as sitting in the shade through the highest sun.  All three love the water - and the slides and pools are just right for them.  They had sun shirts on and hats - and they seemed to be all right.

There are many big waterslides there that we've never been on because we spend most of our time in the the kiddy pool with all its colorful slides and fountains, the pirate ship, or the splash pads.

And that's just how its supposed to be.

Teoman and Tomris were endless in their games running round and round.  They have found each other as good friends this summer.  They always have, they still fight, but it was dear seeing them play together.  (It also made me yearn for another child - something I've half joked about since Tuana was born: oh, I'm going to miss this... the numbers are uneven, we should have another boy (as if this could be arranged - Teoman needs a brother, Tuana needs a close sibling like the other two.)

on the cold pebbled shores

There is a National Park about a half hour from our house.  Same sea, but for some reason the water feels colder there. And with 100 degree heat, colder is better.  There are a few beaches along the way - the first and most popular one is sandy and populated by gypsies, according to Tolga.  The second spot is a pebble beach that is beautiful to look at and awkward to walk on.  There are scraggly trees, deadwood, picnic tables and wood chaise lounge scattered along the beach in various positions trying to get the most of any shade.

We filled our thermoses with tea, bought simit, and packed breakfast things: tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, olives, cheeses.  Anne was up at 1:30 am, confused about the time and busy wrapping glass tea cups and glass plates for our picnic.  It was ridiculous to carry when we had paper, and plastic wear - but it felt very fancy.

There is more vegetation on this part of the sea - and we snorkel a lot and could see so many fish - big "tasty" ones too.  Our cousin Gokalp abi was visiting, and an enthusiastic fisherman.  We typically fished with a simple wheel, line, hook, and weight that was dropped over the side the boat and felt with your hand for the sensitive pulls at the bait - then snag! We'd pull up sharply, trying to hook the fish.  Tolga now has a couple of fishing rods that I'm not sure we've used yet, and by the looks of Gokalp abi, it hadn't been used before.  The weight was heavy, the line had three hooks, and neither could cast very far.  I'm not a fisherman either, but it didn't look right they way they were doing it.  But it, didn't matter, my cousin is about 65 years old and squealed with delight at the first snag that struggled and shined on his line.

Teoman and Tomris where debating whether to keep it or let it go - both agreed we couldn't eat it.  Tuana did a lot of pointing and duh! noisemaking.

work day

we have a couple of big days ahead, so we kept the kids mostly around the house today.  They didn't complain to much - in fact they were upstairs playing on their own while we ate breakfast in peace - which was nice and nerve-wracking.

We used the day to get some work done around the house.  There will always be projects - and Tolga and I both enjoy working on different projects, even though its hard with the kids around.  Painting seems endless - the humidity is always flaking the paint and rusting the iron.  There are usually hooks to hang, doors to fix, screens to replace.

Tolga trimmed the hedges.  His dad had bought and electric trimmer and had let the hedges grow long so Tolga could give it a whirl.

We've been slowly sorting through closets and junk, cleaning up rooms.  When we left in March - we paid a carpenter to build some closets.  Most people have wardrobes - I wanted a built-in closet style. somewhat hidden and to avoid the major moisture problems we have.  Most of the cabinets stink with moisture and the thin backside breeds mildew.  So I had explained my ideas to the carpenter, they all thought I was crazy and sort of built what I wanted for a high price.

I've never been a carpenter and I don't know much about it - even though all three of my brothers and my father have done it their whole lives.  I mean, I kind wish I could build something or make something on my own - but who has the time for that, let alone to learn it?  I guess I figured enough people in my family new it that I didn't have too.

In our renovation process, Tolga and I are learning by our mistakes how to be better carpenters and designers.  I am realizing my brother's or father's comments now - it's coming back to me the frustratingly vague statements they'd say when I'd ask their opinion on something.  (I mean, come on - just a little detail could help!)  "It depends what you want..."  "He's very good."   "How so?"  "He has an eye for detail."

The closets achieved their function - custom storage space - but not so much my aesthetic aspirations.  I mean... they are shiny.  Who makes wood shiny any longer?

learning sun habits.

Just like I have to relearn how to dress in Minnesota's winters, I need to learn how to dress (and protect) under this type of heat.  We headed to the beach again in the morning, but with a half day plan of returning to eat, and cool off without the pressure of how much sun.

I was better with the sunblock, but we still all left with redness.  The kids were exhausted and slept fairly easily.  We had a barbecue after they slept, and our cousin Gokalp abi showed up just in time for dinner.

beach day

We parked ourselves at the beach for most of the day today.  We were all excited - so we rented some chairs and an umbrella and went from swimming to playing in the sand most of the day.

It was at the end of the day, I got to see how sloppy I was with the sunblock.  Teoman and Tomris both had red areas on different  parts of their legs.  I missed most of Teoman's upper arms.

It's going to take some time to get into the routine of summer.

summer begins in Kusadasi

I was able to sleep, and catch up on sleep that I hadn't had in the past few days.  Between Tolga-in-field, Tomris's birthday, packing up the house and school.  I was exhausted.

The kids were must wrapping up their antibiotics, so hopefully ready for a healthy summer.

Our cousins from Istanbul were staying at our house and already heading out today - continuing on south to their own summer time-share place.

Teoman and Tomris was excited with their old toys, with playing with Babanne, and going to the sea.    Anne had cried from missing them all.  Teoman said,
"I almost cried too."

last day

It's always a moments day - the last day of school.  I forgot how emotional it can be too.

I guess I forgot in part, for the past six years, because the emotional part came a week or two earlier with the last day of students when my old school fired anyone they didn't see fit.  I learned on June 9th of my old school that had fired another teacher of 17 years, one of 21 years, and a few younger ones for who knows/or cares why.  I don't care why - because the place  had lost all credibility with me in their firing process.  No warning, no clear reasons why, not enough time to find a new job - team and family that left you on the street.  I wasn't personally in danger or being fired because I was a foreigner, and they needed me - but, it created terrible morale, understandably, when most believed "you never know" about next year.

I convinced a friend of mine to apply to my school, and she will join in the fall.  She had said she was so sad to go, but then she experienced the same thing I had experienced - watching friends be fired on the last day, and suddenly loyalty becomes moot.

At my new school - the last day is more like my experience.  Have a great summer, and goodbyes to those moving on.  Except there a great many more that are moving on here.  It's an international school that attracts international traveling teachers.  Teachers that eventually leave.  And that's a hard school to work in.  I think I don't always want to be saying goodbye.

let it go

We have three days of school without students.  I like to dive right into next years program to get somethings in order in my mind and ready for the year.

But my biggest problem was who's in charge.  Our team leader was moving up to be the head of department in English, I assumed - and indicated to the principals that I should take over the 5th grade program.  They agreed and put me in charge of it just like that - make it an extra paid position as well.

The problem was the person in charge wasn't ready to let go.  It was her program idea, she had fought for the classes and put everything in place - she had done an amazing job structurally.  She had just failed mightily in the communication bit this year.

I sat down with her today to come to some sort of agreement.  She was taking on two jobs next year as HOD and Literacy Coach, as well teaching a reading class on the 5th grade team.  She didn't see why she wasn't in charge of the 5th grade team any longer.  

"You were stretched to thin this year.  Communication really broke down, and many times we were waiting for direction from you.  This will be better.  I will take the adminisrative tasks off your hands - the yearly plan, the exams, an so on - but you will still be overseeing it all as HOD, and we still need you.  This is your program and I realize we didn't get to put into place all that you had planned - I intend on carrying out your plan.  I have my own ideas as well, but that's why you're HOD - to agree , or disagree, or redirect.  No problem.

"It just feels like I"m being fired.  No one asked me."  I suppose in a way she was being fired, but I was still shocked to hear this.  She was taking over HOD, what more did she want?  I suggested she even take only one of those jobs, not both - but she couldn't let it go.  And I couldn't make her.

But, at least we came to an agreement regarding the English team - because we are in it together.  I am leading it... I think....

Tomris turns Four

My baby girl.  My beautiful princess.  She is four today.  Clever, stocky, beautiful, stubborn, cryer, screamer, loving, helpful, sweet.  So many things in one bundle.

Teoman woke her up.
"Tomris, It's your birthday."
"I know," she said smiling. "I remember."

They went to their uncle's room for their present.  He told them he had one last night, and I said they couldn't open it until her birthday, so it was the first thing they did.  It was all Moana themed clothing that they all put on right away.

I had  busy day at school - and when I got home we had their friend Mina over, and her family.  They are packing up to move to DC for a year or two after bayram.  They brought over a present and they brought some things to dump on us as part of their spring cleaning.  A skateboard, a suitcase, some spices, some clothes.

So it was a birthday part and a goodbye.  I had made a simple chocolate cake with frosting, sprinkles and sparklers.  I put some paw patrol figures on it and we called it a Paw Patrol cake.  We ordered pizza and the kids played.

And we said see ya later.  Because goodbyes are boring.

when in Rome, speak English

It was a half-day scheduled today.  I had a lot of administrative things to take care of - but had most of the 5th grade in my room for the morning session - then the entire school went to the performance hall for a terrible awards ceremony.  There were too many awards, students weren't allowed to clap until the end, many students were absent, and it all seemed so meaningless.  Maybe the awards should be bigger, maybe it should be done earlier - I'm not sure how to fix it, but it was painful.

In the afternoon we met over next years schedules.  I was supposed to take the lead position over the 5 fifth grade classes, but I took myself out of the position.  When the principal had asked me - I thought she had meant to lead the 5th grade English team, and I had answered of course, because it was natural for me to take that part over.

I later learned she meant the whole 5th grade - which meant more general responsibilities.  I didn't want it because I still felt the English team needed sorting.  There were also a few people in the 5th grade that had been here longer than I and had experiences with what worked at the school and what didn't, so they were the more natural choice.  When I asked why not them? I was told their English wasn't strong enough.  To which I responded;
1) Their English is fine, you just need to be patient
2) We can't create divisions and segregation in leadership based on language
3) We are in Turkey . . .

My principals considered and agreed.

school wrap up

It was the last full day of school today.   We had "regular" scheduled classes - which meant I was teaching 8am to 1pm.

I sat my reading group down and shared the class video we made in "How to Survive 5th Grade".  Then we watched each other's How-to videos on the big screen, "How to be a YouTuber", "How to Make Slime" (ever-popular), "How to 3D Print" (That boy's steps involved hiring staff to do it for you.), "How to Make Spaghetti Bolognese" (Lost points for Turkish style recipe - overcooking the noodles, adding butter to the noodles, and ketchup to the sauce), "How to Make Donuts/Muffins, Cheesecake/Penalty Kicks..." and so on..

For writing class I put in my favorite cheesy 5th grade movie for them to watch:  "Wide Awake" about a boy who is close to his grandfather, and his grandfather passes in the beginning so he spends the movie searching for God so he can ask him if his grandfather is okay.  A very sweet movie, and hopefully okay content-wise.

I also spent the time putting together a movie for the 5th graders of photos and videos to share with them - I didn't finish it in time, but I shared it with all the students and parents anyhow via email... memories for the year.

I tracked down my principal toward the end of the day because I hadn't seen her all day - which was unusual, so I went to check that everything was okay.
"No, it's not," she replied.  "Didn't you hear?"
"No, what happened?'
"Willie had a heart attack."
"Oh no!"  Our principal had come here with her retired husband, and she had an special needs son that wasn't well.  I couldn't place immediately who Willie was.  
Then I remembered.
Willie was their dog.
"Oh," I said, much less impressed.

music group picnic

The kid's have been participating in a music class once a week.  They have a CD they've been listening too and some songs they've been moving and making music to the beat.  It's been really cute to watch them learn, to do it as a family, and especially to watch how much Tuana enjoy's the songs.  She bounces around, smiling her toothy smile.

Today was a scheduled picnic.  It was cloudy so they moved it indoors.  I had made sandwiches, and chocolate chip cookies to share, packed juice, and brought chips.  Most Turks brought biscuits, borek, and simit.  One family brought a huge cake to celebrate their daughters 2nd birthday.

It was a larger than normal group because its as combined weekend classes with extended families - all bopping and rattling to the beat.  My kids were most impressed with the bubbles, they helped themselves to the shared picnics and ran around outside the building.

When it was all finished, I had to take them to the park... because that is where're they had planned the picnic dn my kids had imagined..

running with friends.

I wasn't feeling much better today - but the kids were fighting so I had to get them out of the house.  We were invited over to an American friends house he had other friends and friends' kids over -so it turned out to be five adults and nine children.  I would say we were outnumbered, but all of the kids were well behaved, and getting along so well.  The played with ALL of the toys, ate pancakes, cleaned up the toys and went downstairs to the park where they ran around some more - which worked out well because I couldn't do much running.

almost done

My morning routine right now:
Teoman's antibiotic.
Tomris's antibiotic.
Tuana water in medicine syringe because she wants to be a part of it all.

At school we still hadn't sorted the grade system problem, I had many administrative tasks due, and I had every minute scheduled with fun.

Morning was making awards, two hours of introduction to fourth graders which I had something prepared but couldn't use it because our team lead usurped everything.

Then it was olympic activity after activity.

And, I think I'm fighting something because I had no energy, my legs ached, and my sinuses were stuffed.

ugh.

But - it was kind of considered the last day if school - so that helped

the problem with a thousand data sheets

I got permission to leave early yesterday and skip the meeting.  My team was texting me updating on some last minute grading realizations.  Our team leader was late to figure out the requirements, so that afternoon our team had to agree on which projects would be combined, average and enter the data.

Not a big problem, theoretically.  I was informed all the data would be put on the spreadsheet "we always use".  I mentioned we haven't used that spreadsheet since February and I got no response.

So, I put that stuff on hold.  Tomris was complaining of ear pain and I had already decided to take her to the doctor - no need to wait and see ear pain is too painful.  So I put Teoman and Tuana to sleep - which took more time then I expected and went to the hospital at 9:30pm.  Gokhan was home in case the kids woke up.  The hospital was surprisingly busy.  I guess everyone was brining their kids to the hospital after breaking the fast / eating dinner.   She did have an ear infection - not so common for her, but seeing as they both have been stuffy for the past week or so, it made sense.

I stopped at a pharmacy on the way home, put Tomris to bed, and got to work my on my grades.

I was up until 3am last night, and I didn't finish  what I needed to do.  I ended up sending an email to my team asking:

I. Why am I the only one up entering grades when a) they are due tomorrow at noon, b) we have every minute scheduled tomorrow so there is no time to do it in the school day and c) I know you all ain't finished cause I be seeing holes in the grade book.

II. While entering grades, and double checking them against my own records I found MANY mistakes.  I also figured the reasons why: a) one was just copy pasted sloppily, b) the "5th grade Data Sheet" we had stopped using and updating back in February because it was used for sorting which means 1) the reading scores for at least two months have since been updated. 2) The exam scores that were copy pasted were "Totals wo/bonus", which means most scores were not the final scores - meaning any scores entered/averaged into the electronic grade book needed to be redone.

III. Because of the revised grading system, some of the grades previously entered could not be deleted for some reason.

So, at that point I was giving up - I had updated and revised all that I could.  Our school day was rearranged so we could sort out this problem.  But I still was wondering why I was the only one up until 3am trying to work it all out.

the closets

we couldn't go to the beach - organizing tings, kids were happy with babanane

The closets

preschool exhibition

At lunch today we were talking and a colleague next to me sneezed.  The Turkish person I was talking too stopped momentarily and said,

"Je-sus!" Then continued.

I couldn't focus on what she said after that because I was laughing.  I couldn't help it - she said it so naturally.  

These language mistakes I often ignore, but occasionally it strikes my funny bone.  

Teoman didn't come to school today.  He's actually been out for week.  Not seriously ill, but allergies, to a terrible cough and possible sinus infection.  (I say possible because our backup doctor diagnosed it, and she tends to be sessile with the medicines).  I brought him with me today because he had a special PYP exhibition.  I don't remember what PYP stands for, another educational concept jargon. The pre-school didn't have classes, but parents were scheduled to arrive in shifts and his or her child was instructed to take you around the building and show-off different project work.  Teoman showed me the music room and his drawings to different music.  He showed me the play area where he did an obstacle course.  He showed me painting, cuttings, story time, pictures of friends.  His friend "Doruk"'s work before Doruk could properly spell  his name and spelt it "Dork" which set me off in another uncontrollable fit.  

Tolga had left for the field today and timed his travel so that he could stop and participate in the exhibition by FaceTime, because he doesn't want to miss a thing.  Everyone's always impressed with this ... but for Tolga, and myself, it's these parts of parenting we don't want to miss.

without condemnation

Last week when we were on a field trip to Eymir Lake there was an incident with a biker.  The road around the lake is generally for walkers and bikers, but cars are aloud as well ... and its one of the few places in Turkey where its generally understood that corners need to be taken with caution because the winding road leaves lots of blind spots.  Bike racers can be almost as dangerous as cars, but there not too many of them.

Either way, when I biker came barreling down the road, tooting his horn, we hollered at the kids to stay to the side for the umpteenth time.

They didn't move nearly fast enough and the biker had stop.  He was wearing sun glasses, a biker hat, shirt, shorts and shoes.  He almost looked serious except that he had a gut and it was strange that he was biking around the lake in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.

The biker was angry and my friend Meltem was the closest.  She was the perfect person to be there.  She is 47 yrs old, retired, and almost everyone likes her.  I'm not exactly sure how she does it, but I know it has something to do with the words she chooses and the cultural inflections behind them.  I watched the exchange from the distance.  I heard her respond to him, and the man answered back, she responded, he answered back.  At this point, I saw the kids become disgusted with the man and things got very uncomfortable.  Meltem responded again, more at length, and I saw the man's posture change from angry and aggressive to accepting.  Whatever she said, worked.

I asked her today what had happened in the exchange.  She had apologized to the man, and when he continued to shout, she answered calmly - these are children and the need some time to follow directions.  We were actually moving them, but think of it as if they were your children and you can understand that they cannot move like you and I.  The man did have a child (thankfully) and he calmed down.

My friend had gently corrected the man without humiliating him.

exhaustingly fun days

Another fun day at school.

We hiked to the campus center - where the kids played and hiked some more.  I took a small group on a hike through the woods and let them take their phones out to take photos but they got their noses stuck in their phones doing apps and filters and who-know-what, so I had to cut them off more and more.  Our whole 5th grade group was much smaller as many kids aren't coming to school any longer.  I hitched a ride with a friend back and we swung by the on campus Starbucks.

I felt like we deserved it.

getting ready for summer

This may be the only weekend Tolga is home before we head to Kusadasi for the summer - so we took today to buy some things we needed.

Tuana went down for an early nap so I was able to go to the bazaar to shop.  I took Tomris with me, and she packed her little backpack with a banana and water.  She was so cute, except she complained the ENTIRE time.  People were pinching her cheeks and she gave them evil looks and squawks in return.

I went home and picked everyone up for a trip out to IKEA - I have a huge list of things to buy, but my main thing today was curtains for the two rooms we just had closets built into.  I will also put a bunk bed in one, so I got some sheets and mattress protectors, on on-sale mattress - and we'll have to order and ship the bed and other mattress.

There is always more to buy.

fear mongers

Yesterday was the last day of the school year for most schools that follow the government schedule.  Our nanny's husband had stopped by, but will have two more weeks of seminar period.  My old school finished yesterday too.  Their firing day.  I found out at the soccer tournament today of two that were fired from my own English department: one that was a relatively new hire and kind man, another that had been working their for 18 years.  A couple of years ago I had asked this woman who had just been fired how she felt about everything that was going on at the school - and she smiled but shook her head.  She didn't agree with a lot that was going on, but her son was attending and so she was just trying to keep her head down.  Others were fired too - this is what pushed me out the door.  Seeing how everyone worked in fear, not knowing if they were doing well enough or not.  Not knowing if they would work for one more year.  Always in limbo and stress.

Who does that to people?  I don't know what to call it, how it name this action, other than disgusting.

ordered fun

In the last two weeks of school I have two obligations: to collect, grade some, and finalize grades on three different systems - and monitor students by following the 5000 schedules that are keeping track of all the FUN activities planned for the weeks.

Today they had project work, cinema, and water balloon activities.  It was forecasted at a high chance of rain, so someone talked about switching Monday's board game activities with todays water ballon fight.  But in the end it was a 5th Grade Spelling Bee.

I had pushed the team to divide up the tasks so we all didn't have to be "on" all day long.  It worked out the part was going to the movies and watching Pirates of the Caribbean.  It's been probably 5 years since I've been to the theater, and I enjoyed the movie a lot.

The only part I didn't enjoy was the micromanaging of our students.  We let them in five at a time to get their preordered popcorn and soda.  We sat them down, announced no going to the bathroom.  Turkish theaters have an intermission of 15 minutes, and we used that time to release them row by row to go to the snack counter - which worked out terribly because other theaters were getting out - and the line was long anyhow.  They all were paranoid about missing the movie, fighting about people changing their seats and jumping line.

I was okay with a free-for-all at the counter.

We all exited in the same orderly fashion as well - Everyone was required to pick up five pieces of trash.

The only thing we didn't do, and no one seemed to worry - was count to make sure we got everyone back on the bus.  In fact, the leader of the group wasn't even sure of our number.

So, I'm just going to assume we got everyone back...

just simple playtime at home

We were all wasted from yesterday's day at the lake, and meeting afterwards.  I had kept Teoman home yesterday as I knew it would be a long day for him, and he is asking to stay home these days.  Partially because he's sick, partially tired, and mostly because he just wants to stay and play with his toys and fight with his sisters.  His voice is hoarse and he is coughing - I'm guessing its allergies, but I'm letting him rest anyhow.  Even now, at night they are coloring so nicely together.

Let's see how picking up the Legos goes.

ice cream in nature

Today was our field trip planned for Eymir - the same lake I had taken my own kids over the weekend.  I helped prepare the first aid kits, reviewed my Epipen knowledge, and had all the students in the buses at 9am.  The driver I had been my old driver at my previous school, and said hello enthusiastically: Hocam! You don't remember me do you?  You were at the other school and in Birlik right?  It's my beard isn't it?  I really hate our bus company, but there is always comfort in the familiar - so we headed out on the buses and arrived a half an our later.  The buses dropped us off and we all headed down the private road on that circles the lake.

You need a permit to enter the lake area, but you're free to walk in by foot or bike.  We walked 1.5 kilometer's to the first buffet where all the kids bought ice cream and junk food.  It wasn't even 10:30.  We walked 500 more meters to another restaurant and buffet, and the kids bought more ice cream.

Here we split up into groups: a basketball court group, Science exploration group by the lake, a restaurant garden group for those that wanted to sit and chat (ME!), and a walking group.

I took the walking group because my homeroom students were begging me to continue on.  There were about 12 or 15 of us, and they were all my students.  Soon, they wanted to go off-road, so I took them to a spot I always take my kids.  The hill is actually to steep to climb, but they were all feeling adventurous (as was I), so I took them up the steep hill, forewarning that the climb down may be scary for some.  Two baled halfway, and I helped them down, but the rest were excited and screaming at the top of their "mountain".  They were pointing at the far away mountains taking if they could climb those.  It was a peninsula here so I told them to go ahead and continue ahead down the path - the worse they'd have to do is turn around.

When I caught up to them, after helping a few back down, they squealed with delight.  I took a picture, they initiated a moment of silence out of respect for nature, and then we began hiking back and they broke out spontaneously into song.  It was really sweet.

Then they all made a pact to not tell anyone how awesome their adventure was and so when we got back they told everyone it was so boring with me and they wouldn't recommend it, but they were going again after lunch an no one else could join....

Coming home

Tolga came home this afternoon.  We've been counting down the days.   Teoman said, "I'm so excited for Baba to come home... for my new toy."  But then, today, on the way home - he confessed he was excited to see his Baba.  He was in such a good mood, giggling easily.  He grinned to me outside the door and when our nanny opened the door he went inside looking for his Baba. When he saw Tolga was laying on the bed with the others, he kicked his shoes off and ran to Tolga and hugged him so tight.

Tolga said Tuana had hugged him so tight too.  Her small arms spreading out to only the breadth of his chest, gripping his shoulders and resting her head on him.  She had been following him around talking, and when I came in she was trying to get his attention to chase her.  I started to chase her and she went, "Mahhhhhh!" Which, apparently meant, she wanted her Baba to chase her - confirmed by a giggle and squeal when Tolga did.

Tomris just giggled when she saw her Baba,  and gave him a big hug.

running in the wild.

I have been running almost everyday now.  It's quite impressive for me - considering how much I usually hate running, but I guess I'm more motivated at school.  Like, it's become part of my "work" mentality.

I'm still paranoid about snakes though.  I asked Tolga about it, as he would have the most experience with this.  At first he laughed, then he paused - and that pause was all I needed. In the case that I was bitten, he was worried about how accessible an anti-venom would be.

Actually, I already had dissuaded myself.  Someone at lunch today told me there were vipers in Turkey and that I probably had seen a viper.  Then we searched venomous snakes in Turkey, and there apparently are about 10 types, and over 500 people were treated for venomous snake bites.

Way too many.
And the anti-venom was the least of my fears.

I mean, what if they are sleeping and don't hear me coming because I'm running, and then I startle it and it strikes me and its fang gets stuck in my shoe and inadvertently keeps pumping venom into me. I'm not being funny - I read a story about something like that in Reader's Digest a while back and its stuck with me.  In the story, it was one of those miracle stories where I an unidentified stranger found the boy and carried him to safety - which is awesome, but still horrifying.  (This is why I censor what I, and want to censor what my 5th graders, read).

Let alone, I'm not sure I could get the nerve to unhood the snake from my shoe - I would probably by writing frantically - which means the snake's body would be writing and slapping me until it was unhooked - and hopefully thrown far enough away that in my spaz attack I hadn't rolled on top of it.

Yeah.  I'm so done with cross-training.

to the lake

My kids were weirdly obedient and helpful this morning.  They cleaned up all their toys so perfectly and without fighting.  I invited Gokhan to go out with us, and even he agreed to come - which was surprising because he is fasting still.

I again backed the bikes and stroller, bought some simit, fruit, vegetables and drinks - and took the kids to the lake.  Tuana was excited as the rest - walking around (yes she's always walking everywhere these days) with the helmet on her head.

By chance, my old school had collected at the lake as well for a fundraising event that morning.  I was surprised to a colleague, then another and another - until realizing it was not by chance that they were all there.  I hugged different ones, told them I was well, and they all squealed over my kids.  I can't help feeling pride being out with the three of them.

Teoman and Tomris love riding their bikes, and their hand breaks are easy to squeeze - so they were both happy to zoom down the road that circles the lake.  Gokhan and I walked, pushing Tuana, who periodically waved at everyone walking by.  We stopped for a picnic, climbed a hill that Tomris cried on because she couldn't get down, and threw rocks into the lake making Tuana giggle at the plop and ripple of water.

I am so thankful for these times - for these chances to watch these small moments through our kids eyes.

whats important to five year olds

"I'm a little disappointed in you today.  You all seemed very distracted.  The first two weeks you showed a lot of focus.  But today you were not.  We want to win the trophy, right?"

That speech was given by the 5-6 year old Hydra's team coach.

With Tolga away, I had planned the day at the army base for this kids and they were excited.  Teoman had been up at 5:45 and already dressed for soccer.  He tried to be patient.  He even tried to lay down again when I told him - but his eyes were open and blinking.  It took me about 2 hours to get everyone up, fed, changed, packed, and loaded in the car. .. quite a feat in itself.

It was to be a beautiful day, so I had loaded up their bikes, the stroller and some food for a picnic as well.  Their friend Mina was going to come after Teoman's game and they were most excited to play with their buddy Mina.

I don't think anyone really actually cared about the soccer match.

may your head stay healthy

A colleague of mine's aunt passed away yesterday and often times the school will arrange a bus to take available teachers to the funeral.  My colleague is Turkish and has become a good friend, and so I joined the bus to support her.

I had no classes so the timing worked out just right in the middle of the day.  There is one main cemetery in Ankara - I'm not even sure if there are others - and it is a a huge piece of land with a mosque at the top of a hill.  Friday is a holy day - so the cemetery is busier than most days - maybe people had waited a bit longer than 24 hours, or some to come and pay their respects - either way, it seems too busy.  There was too much death today.

The mosque area is open, with some on chairs waiting, some on carpets praying, and many milling around hugging family members and giving their condolences: Başınız sağolsun - may your head stay healthy.

My friend's aunt was sick over many years time, so it wasn't so unexpected - but rather it was hard because she had lost her mother this year as well.  Another friend who had come was crying as well, as she too had recently lost her mother.  The whole place represented the loss of so many.

jog through the wild

I've been trying to get a walk in - 20 minutes a day around my lunch break.  I really don't have time for it - but I am taking the time for it.  I want to get stronger.  So I don't think I could manage an hour walk, and somedays, I can barely do 10 minutes.  And lately I've been making up time by running.  Literally chasing time.
And I hate running.

It's taken me a few weeks to find the right sort of path for me - but I think I finally found one.  A sort of trail run, down by the lake and back up.  It's more dry than it is beautiful - but it's better than pavement.

I've been slightly concerned about the wildlife I may come across.  There is a suspiciously large animal friend trap set up on the trail with abnormally large bones trying to entice the animal inside the spring loaded cage.

So far the cage has been empty.

Last week I came across a bloated (and dead) hedgehog.  I avoided that path for a while.  It's crossed my mind about wild dogs, but I haven't seen any really in this area.  I know there are lizards, and I was hoping there weren't snakes.  I've kept my eyes open, and tried to avoid in rustling sounds in the weeds.

One path has some particularly heavy overgrowth, and I hesitated going through it the first time because I couldn't see the ground.  But I went anyhow, and I've used it for a few days.  Today I was finishing up my circle and I got to this overgrowth part and there was a snake.
I almost stepped on it and jumped back as soon as realized.

I thought it was dead because it didn't move, even as I had pounded up in my approach.  But suddenly it did and I screamed and jumped back.  I couldn't bring myself to go through the path or climb up this hill with all its underbrush - I had to backtrack the whole distance I came, and I had to hurry to get back to school.

I'm not so sure about trail running any longer.
Ew.