A calm hill

Tomorrow is labor day.  We hadn’t planned a holiday because we weren’t sure if Tolga was working or not - but when we learned he was hear, we started looking for places to go.  The problem is - the entire country goes on holiday.  Many of my colleagues were going to Cyprus - which has been on my list since we moved here - but not right now, not with the small kids.  

We lucked out - my American friend had reserved two cabins in Bolu mountains - so we decided to join them for one night.  The place is called Sakintepe - a clam hill.  My friend had told me about this place many times before - but we just hadn’t acted on it until now - and now, with the knowledge that our friends will be moving to America soon - we decided to join them.  

The cabins are owned by an American couple.  Secret missionaries I think - who’ve been here for almost thirty years.  Their kids were born and raised here - and one tried to come back to Turkey to work at a school - but was denied a visa - the restrictions having been increased after the coup this past summer resulting in some surprising visa denials. (Denials that have pushed us to move on my application for citizenship here).  I have been hesitant all this time to go because of the dangerous stairs - and some cabins simple have a ladder to the bedrooms in the loft - but we figured we’d have enough people around this time to help.  Tolga had invited his cousins, and soon we had  a cabin full with 8 adults and our three kids, and this wasn’t including our friends.  

The area was perfect - in the mountains, but not too high, lots of green grace, a forest with very little underbrush (so easy for exploring), a playground, a bonfire pit, a wood stove in the cabin, and barbecue grills.  Our relatives brought most of the food, but I had made two strawberry pies the day before with the kids.  Teoman and Tomris ran back and forth between the cabins, playing with their friend Mina and Tolga’s cousin’s kids who were in their mid twenties that my kids love to play with.  Tuana was thrilled with the dogs on the property - a couple of German Shepards that I had been worried about at first, but they were very docile.  Tuana sat next to them and beckoned them to come with her pudgy little fist.  (She also happen to do the same thing to a June bug she saw later in the evening).  

They slept at odd hours and walked like drunks with weariness - but it is the best kind of vacation with family.  

soccer begins

The American Army base sits in side the Turkish army base.  We go there for church, sometimes, and now that Teoman has turned 5 - we can participate in Saturday soccer.  There are many organizations around Ankara that we could join - but they are quite serious training even at this age.  The base feels safe, the grass is literally greener, and as I always say - its like a little America.  Big personalities, loud accents, big open spaces, clean, organized, etc.  

We showed up and registered Teoman.  All the players - 5-14 get socks, shorts, and a jersey upon registration.  The uniform is very simple and reversible - its always red versus blue.  Teoman’s first game made us realize we haven’t taught him a thing about soccer … he was running the wrong way.  But he was impressed.  Tomris played in the playground, Tuana sat with me in the grass and snacked.  When we got home, Tomris tried on the uniform too.  

The afternoon we spent making strawberry pies for tomorrow’s trip to Bolu mountains with friends and family.  The evening was our music class.

Seminar - Day 3

     The night before, the high school principal made schedule changes to our plan for the day - so my presentation time was moved to earlier in the day, and the room was changed.  

     I had been up late again - preparing the presentation - but I enjoyed the challenge.  I had to get my point across in 20 minutes.  I lost almost ten minutes with tech issues - mostly my fault for not getting there earlier.  

     The presentation went very well, I was very satisfied.  The topic was Accountable Talk - I started with a comic and the phrase “Are you listening?”, then I defined the word accountable, gave some synonyms, pictures, examples and non-examples.  I defined accountable talk, showed what it looked like, sounded like, how we do it, why we do it, who can do it, and how teachers can implement it.  I circled back the presentation to the phrase “are you listening?” with a tear-jerker video of a woman hearing for the first time.  A bit forced ending, but my point was to not take for granted this gift of listening, and to have empathy when we do.  

     I got tears out of my participants.

     Yes!

     However, I did have a big disappointment too.  Eight Turkish people had signed up for my session, only one showed.  A few peeked in, but didn’t come back.  Maybe some had been mixed about the location.  Maybe it was because my room was full and there were no chairs.  I don’t know - but I surely felt today my lack of relationship with my Turkish counterparts, and that was really disappointing.

Seminar Day 2

     Today’s seminar I was scheduled for Apple training.  I was told I was selected because of my interest in technology.  

     The morning consisted of the tech director making grand philosophical speeches.  Within the context - the tech team opened a “back channel” for us to have discussions behind the discussion.  An interesting concept.  On the one hand - they told us multi-tasking has worse effects on the brain then marijuana.  On the other hand - this is the reality of our day is this is what we do.  Of course you can’t listen fully if your commenting on a back channel.  But in this instance, when one man monopolized the conversation  - it worked fairly well.  And, I suppose in my case -  the option may make me more likely to participate as I don’t have to fear interrupting anyone or being interrupted.  

But I still didn’t particpate.  There was too much going on, and while some made the best of the conversation, I get kind of stuck watching people and their responses.

     The Apple training, I think I was secretly wishing I would get an iPad out of it or something.  Instead - it was basic Apple functions training.  I had shown up with all my apps products and to say the least, I was a bit disapointed.  

     When he got to iMovie twenty minutes in  and started teaching us how to use it, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left.  I had been up until 4am the night before preparing a presentation on iMovie with screenshots, pictures, and step by step interactive notes - I should have sent him my notes, but I was feeling spiteful.

     I found our tech integrator (and friend) letting her know how insulting the session was of my time - so she made it up to me by taking me out for coffee and planning time off campus.

Seminar day 1

While all the eighth graders are testing, the students get to stay home, and the teachers get to attend seminars.

Today was our technology seminar.  Our director tooted his horn for a while, then in a small group meeting that I was assigned to, he tooted his horn some more.  He announced again with great importance that were are THE Google Educators Group of Ankara.  I again had to ask him,
"And, what's the significance of that?"
"I know you got a bone to pick with this."
"Sorry, that's not my point - you say it with such importance, I wonder what I'm missing here."
"Well, it's our group."
"So we have the power?"
"Not really, our small school gets to make the way."
"So it's not collaborative?  We call the shots?"
"No, it's collaborative.  But the Ministry of education really wants to have control of the group."
"And if they did, we would be limited?"
"Exactly."  And he made a squeezing of the neck motion.

I still don't get it.  But, apparently, it's a very important and significant title.

I had volunteered to lead a technology session today.  My friend was desperate and she made it sound easy.
"You could teach people the basics of iMovie."
Yes, I could.  I'm really good at making home movies.  And in true fashion - I title my workshop "iMovie Basics" and I titled my presentation and notes "iMovie Basics."

I spend most of the night preparing my notes for my very small group of ten people.  It took so long because 1) I had to learn how to do it on iPad 2) I took screen shots of all the steps 3) I created it on Keynote because 3) I couldn't transfer all the pictures to Google Slides.

But the end product was great.  I didn't mind putting the time into it because I don't doubt that I will use it again with my 5th graders.  I showed an example product, I walked everyone through the steps of Google and complications we face with the school iPads. Walked everyone through iMovie vocabulary, inserting and editing photos, videos, and audio.  And had everyone publish, download, upload and share their final product.  It was interactive the whole time because everyone had a school iPad - and I've never had a lesson go so perfectly.  I taught everything in my 1 hour and 45 minute session and finished with two minutes to spare.

It was a good feeling.

Parent-teacher day 2

I was very anxious about today.  I had a parent meeting scheduled that wasn't boding well.

A student's tutor had sent me a hostile email on Friday evening "on behalf" of the mother.  She had emailed earlier the weak to ask about an exam score - the first I had heard from her, and then followed up with an email blast how I had demotivated the boy in the past few weeks with my "behavior", that I had accused the boy of cheating and destroyed him, that they (mother and tutor) did not approve of the way I was acting.  Etc. etc. etc.

Sigh.

I asked the principal and counselor to attend the meeting with me, for support, clarification, and translation.  Neither showed.  The tutor was young and glowering at me with hatred.  The mother couldn't look me in the eye.  The mother was my kids back-up doctor - I knew her.  I had failed them both big time and there was no remedy.

It was a terrible feeling.

My Turkish wasn't good enough, the mother's English wasn't good enough, the hostile tutor was left to do the translating.

Last week, we were talking about exam answers.  I was sharing with the class generally about answers given, and one described at stereotypical business man as a person who carry's a bag and smokes.  Two boys volunteered they had written this answer.
I said, "Yes.  Your answers were oddly similar.  And you were sitting next to each other.  And you both spelled smokin' the same way.  Did you copy each other?"
They obviously answered no - but I checked their eyes briefly, and dismissed it mostly because I didn't believe either of these boys to be sneaky.  And later, looking at the answers, there was enough difference for me not to purse it.

The one boy went home and a) informed his parents that Exam IV he got a 44% when he had believed he had a 77%.  b) That I accused him of cheating in front of the whole class.

Apparently, a family argument ensued and the boy had been crying overnight since last week.
Because of me.

And the boy is a sweet sweet boy.  Honest (but human), eager, enthusiastic, tries very hard but with very low English skills ... no matter how much he tries sometimes.  The mom couldn't look me in the eye.  Her face was so sad.  The whole situation was so ugly.

Parent-teacher day 1

We only have one day of students this week.  Eighth graders have a country-wide exam that is quite serious and decides their fate / admission into schools.  If you have money, it won't matter as much - but the importance of this test is heavily indoctrinated in the students.

I was juggling many tasks today.  Finishing my lessons and then two hours before parents came running around with administrative tasks, then the nonstop flow of anxious parents inquiring about their kids.

Poor Teoman had to wait in the room with me.  He played iPad and came over to interrupt me frequently.  I finally left school at 6:45 and I was home at 7:30.

It was a long day.

snow in April

I didn't even remember that I planned on going to church.  It was cold, dark, and snowing by 9am.

The kids played calmly at home, and we drank coffee, made caramel apples, popcorn, and played some serious Paw Patrol games.

pancake Saturday

It seems that this will be the last rainy and cold weekend of the year.  I'm sure we'll have more rain - but the temperatures have dropped unusually and they are even maying snow tomorrow.  

We went to the mall - otherwise known as the abyss - and got sucked into an electronic store that sold Disney products and walked out 45 minutes later with bayram toys.   We have been saying no toys for them other than Christmas and birthdays - but just had to give me a look and I broke down.  Teoman had already picked out a designer cup (not a toy) but when I said he could pick a small toy he threw his arms around me saying, 

"Thank you mom!"

Even Tuana, who'd fallen asleep in the car, woke up in time to pick her own toy.  We walked around some, doing errands: Teoman got a hair cut, we bought coffee for now and coffee for home, Tuana rotated between the stroller, our arms, and walking with us holding her hands.  As she got tired, she'd get frustrated and bite the hand that was holding her.  We watched the scuba man inside the huge fish tank, cleaning the side walls and waving at us.  Tuana giggled and squealed.

children's day celebration

I've always thought Turkish schools were a bit disorganized or loose with their order.   But new school, an international school, I fear is worse.  I brought my 3rd period kids down to the performance hall to practice, left them with the music teacher and took her class downstairs.  Her class was ten minutes late because they were taking a math exam.

Our ceremony was postponed because the high school ceremony was running late.  Our ceremony ran into the elementary school's time and the elementary school parents RAN INTO our ceremony because they wanted good seats.

Our principal - to her credit - didn't freak out.  I'm sure she was on the inside - there are so many things that Turks do that drive Type A Americans crazy.  But she couldn't control it, and let much go.

The ceremony went way into lunch period, lunch period went way into 8th period,  the time in between was hallways and outdoors unmonitored because teachers were in classes or eating or unsure where they were supposed to be.

and that was our children's day celebration

if only life were a feast

Children's day celebration is on April 23rd - a significant national holiday that is dedicated to the children - our future.  Usually, I am required to attend the ceremony and it's a half day celebration on the date - even if it's Sunday (which it is this year).  However, we will be celebrating at my school tomorrow.

They kids have been rehearing some English songs with their Music teacher once or twice a week - but their Turkish song has come easily and with enthusiasm and joy.  (And, I think it's most likely practiced everyday in Turkish and Social studies class).  

It's a beautiful song, and very typical Turkish.

if only life would be like a feast

the happiest person in this world

is the one who gives happiness to others

the loved person in this world

is the one who knows how to love

 

the strongest person in this world

is the one who comes from hardship

the wisest person in this world

is the one who knows himself

 

if only the whole world would believe in that

if only they would believe

if only living would be like a feast

if only all people would hold each other's hands

if only they would get all together

if only we all would reach out to eternity

 

if only the whole world would believe in that

if only they would believe

if only living would be like a feast

if only all people would hold each other's hands

if only they would get all together

if only we all would reach out to eternity

 

the maturest person in this world

is the one who can smile at pain

the most noble person in this world

is the one who shows mercy

 

the richest person in this world

is the one who conquers hearts

the most superior man in this world

is the one who loves mankind.

 

if only the whole world would believe in that

if only they would believe

if only living would be like a feast

if only all people would hold each other's hands

if only they would get all together

if only we all would reach out to eternity

Credit: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/hayat-bayram-olsa-if-only-life-would-be-feast.html 

my eyes are itching

My long days, or maybe allergies, have been making my itch at night.  Tuana is on the verge of walking - and waking up a lot.  Teoman has been overtired at night and having major meltdowns.  His day is too long and I'm always rushing things along at night to get him in bed by 7:00, asleep by 7:30.  It rarely happens.

Wednesdays I have meetings as well - so I get home late, hitting traffic and accidents along the way.  But our meeting today was time to grade exams... and that was helpful to get it out of the way.

Turkish Dentist.

My mother has always obsessed about our teeth.  She is forever telling me to brush my teeth in the back of my mind, and so I cringe when I tell it to my children.  I'm sure it started as a gentle reminder, but times five children and x many years later it's like hitting an automated response button on her.  Even now, if I imply anything about teeth brushing relating to myself or my children, she will say: Make sure you brush those teeth well!  Or They gotta be brushing those teeth!  Are they brushing their teeth every day, morning and night? You really gotta get in there.
Sigh.
So the last time I went to the dentist was pre-pregnancy of Tuana.   So far, my experiences here have been dentists confused why I am in their office if I don't have any pain.  When I mention a teeth cleaning, they seem further confused by my very clean teeth.

Or maybe our dentistry system is just a big hoax that my mom has sold us all into - they built this huge system and culture of fear around the boogey-tooth-man in order to create another industry of business.

It doesn't matter I suppose - because even though I've never had cavity, root canal, or whatever else they do to your teeth - I do know teeth pain is the worst and expensive and painful to fix for I have had an infected wisdom tooth - and those subsequently pulled.  So it is with a little bit of fear that I regularly brush my teeth.
Thanks mom.

My new dentist told me it was good for me and bad for him that I had good teeth.  I forget how torturous it is even with good teeth.  My gums bleed like crazy (Do you floss?  Um... not enough.. (translation: only when somethings good and stuck)), and I swear they filleting my gums.

But torture over - I still had to ask about whitening my teeth.  I mean, my mom's teeth are commercial white and one step away from glittering.
"This is something about American culture.  You all like to smile and it is important to you.  In Turkish culture, we don't like to smile and we cover our mouths.  I think it is too much and it is breaking down the natural teeth.  Many of my colleagues do this and push it on their patients but then later must do root canals."

Now there's something I've never heard - a dentist that wants balance.

we stole a Monday

With no school we took the kids down to Lake Eymir.  It was a brown landscape and a sunny day.  We rented a bike for Teoman and brought Tomris's bike and the two pumped their little legs as fast as they could.  Tolga and I walked, pushing the stroller.  We paused to to climb "the mountain", drink some chocolate milk, and returned to a newly built park.

It was a stolen Monday - we stole back the day from our work to be together and enjoy the day.

Easter and a Vote

 I had mentioned Easter a couple of days ago to Teoman.  I couldn't believe Teoman remembered, but it was the first thing he said when he woke up.  "Is it that day?  What do you call it?  Are we going to play that game where you say hot-cold?"  Last year, I hid some plastic eggs filled with chocolate for them, but they couldn't find many - so I would say warmer, warmer, warmer to help them locate the eggs.  They are the best age to play these games - because Tomris says things: This is a great Easter egg hunt.

We have been to the American base chapel in ages.  They have a new chaplain that we hadn't met yet and the crowd was thin because any new transfers are not allowed to bring their families with any longer to Turkey - including the new chaplain.  So the service was barebones.  A few hymns, a prayer, a message, and end with no dinner for families afterwards.  But, it was great to be in our little America again.

Tolga had voted today as well.  A simple paper that said "EVET" on one side with a white background, and another side that said "HAYIR" with a brown background.  Voters turned up at where they were registered - public schools organized with registrants who picked up the paper and put an official stamp the side he or she agreed with, put the slip in a sealed envelope - and the vote was done.

The result was much closer then I accepted.
51% Yes
49% No

On Easter Sunday.

vote

We learned today school is cancelled on Monday because of voting.  The voting is actually on Sunday, but clean up I guess is on Monday.  It's a pivotal referendum - a result which will swing power to the president away from the judicial system.  A referendum built on the wake of the failed coupe and heavily propagandized. "Vote yes for our nation."  The "no" vote has gotten significantly less media time, has been discourage from propagandizing by the police, and has been painted as aligning oneself with those that sought to tear down the country.

I know America and the world are asking why people would vote to give up their power and lots of analysts are trying to figure out the psychology of this - and I'm sure in some ways we could never understand because it's not our culture.  Then again, I'm not sure I can understand the stuff going on in my own country.

eighth graders

I've been told the kids at my school are not the average Turk.  Their money has made them disrespectful, careless,  and snobbish.
They seem like typical eighth graders to me.
I have duty out on the lawn these days, and I'm often left by myself because it's not monitored or managed very well.
The beginning consisted of the fifth graders in the corner of the field SCREAMING at a turtle.  Eventually one of them managed to lift the fence enough so the turtle could get out of the kids' lawn area.  They all screamed after it thinking it was crawling to it's not-so-dramatic death of slow walk off a cliff.  It its more of a deep valley, but as far as the kids were concerned - it was jumping to its death.

Getting the kids to go inside is another issue.  Like routing up wild horses.  I am thankful I hyperventilated for a month in junior high, walking home from school, until I learned how to whistle loudly.

They respond SLIGHTLY better to a piercing whistle.

Today I put my foot down on three eighth graders - I decided I'd introduce myself to them.  In classic middle school response they: didn't do anything, they were helping a friend, getting a ball, both of their names were Can so they didn't know who I was talking too, he didn't know answering in Spanish was disrespectful, he didn't mean to say the word to me - but to the boy NEXT to me.... and so on.

Each once who tried to join in the argument, I welcomed and said, "Welcome! Thanks for joining us - You can hep explain it to the principal too, you will be a great addition to this conversation."

It worked fairly well.

you gotta know to teach

I'm not the kind of person who uses rigorous or piggyback or pushback.  In fact, I have a hard time putting method, theory, and academic language to what I'm doing.  Maybe there was a time I could do it, but I'm terrible at it now - and I've kind of lost my care for such things.

When someone else says something is responsive, accurate and rigorous - I think that sounds really, really great.  It sounds important.  And educationally.

I've volunteered to teach a method that I use in my class - a method I believe in and would like the whole school to copy.  But, I'm reading up on it - and realizing a know so very little about it.  I have the barebones of the strategy and hardly the heart to go through it all.

In fact, I volunteered to teach two things.  And I'm realizing I'm not as saavy as I had hoped on either topics - just enthusiasm and some haphazard application strategies.

Gulp.

systems of covering absent teachers.

In New York, substitute coverages were assigned by an electronic system hiring substitutes from outside.  If there were non available (which was the usual case), teachers were assigned an "emergency" coverage.  It was awful, and I would have paid NOT to do it, BUT there were some rules that governed this by union: we were paid time-and-a-half, we couldn't be assigned more than two periods in a row and no more than 5 or 6 periods in a day.

In Minnesota - I was a part of an electronic sub system.  My names was in four different districts, and when a teacher was absent - the system rang my phone and I was assigned a school.  It was also online, so if I happened to be online, I could choose a place to cover.  I was so desperate for money - as were others - that I would wait by my computer, refreshing the screen repeatedly - looking for a coverage from the highest paying district in hopes I could cover my bills for the month.  Those were hard days...

At my old school, the English department covered each other.  There were 17 of us, and this was usually enough to cover.  We were covering our friends - and it was usually volunteered because there were things we needed to teach.  We were paid about $3 for an extra lesson.

Here, it's a mess.  Our principal is responsible for assigning the coverages.  She hates doing it, and she's really bad at it.  There is no regulation and there is no extra pay.  I was assigned a coverage and it made my teaching day 8 out of 10 periods... but I got out of it because of a parent-teacher conference I had scheduled.  The person sitting next to me at lunch was teaching 9 out of 10 periods today, had his lunch out, was eating his lunch - and got called to his coverage that had been assigned while he was teaching and he didn't know about.  Brining his teaching day to 10 out of 10 and making his lunch cold.

We definitely need a system here.

interview wars

Apparently the interview is a big deal.
They might actually reject your little pre-schooler if they cry and won't come in.
Because I am on staff, I don't have the pressure, but because of the number of applicants and number of spaces, they must reject about 50% of the applicants.
Dressing herself, feeding himself, holding scissors, putting on her jacket and shoes, balancing, holding a pencil or scissors.  They have to differentiate somehow.  They are looking especially for bilingual and international students - but left with mostly a Turkish population it comes down to the little things.  The little things that also happen to differentiate a Turkish child from an international.  Many Turkish kids can't feed or dress themselves because of the culture here of mothers and Babanne's hovering over them figuratively and literally spoon feeding them.  Most kids learn the skills because its a child's natural instinct (I think) to learn things on her own - all by myself.  And more importantly, I don't see this culturally habit as turning out terrible citizens or incapable adults.  They all grow up and learn eventually.
Unfortunately though, lack of these skills may mean he/she is not the right fit for our school.  More to the point - it will make parents feel that their child just isn't good enough.
How terribly early to do this to parents and children.

pre-school interview

My school is expensive and somewhat elite.  You can't just buy your way into it.  You have to pass admissions interview, exams, and there has to be enough space because they have capped the classrooms at 20 (but apparently that's the highest number ever).  It is a pre-K-12 school, with about 1000 students enrolled.

Even though I am a teacher, and my kids get automatic enrollment, I still must go through the formalities that all applying parents must do - and today was my scheduled small group interview with Tomris.

All the anxious parents waited in a room as the teachers swooped and with a few magic words convinced the kids one by one to join them in another classroom.  There were rumors flying that if your kid cried - the first test - he/she wouldn't be admitted.  Tomris, who had been skipping and giggling all the way to the building, suddenly was back to her usual of not making eye contact, not responding to any question and gripping my fingers tighter while stubbornly hiding behind me.

The teacher was good at distracting her - and I pointed out a new friend she might make ( a boy she told me later was her new friend).  She left with about 10 others while the rest of us sat nervously in the room filling out forms that asked when our child first learned to sit-up (don't remember), crawl (8 1/2 months), walk (11 months), string three words together (no idea - no am I sure what counts as "words"), what make him/her happy, sad, angry.  What can he/she do, what does she do when she doesn't get what she wants (cries), what's her personality strengths (helper, big sister, willing, brave, creative) and weaknesses (usually wants the toy someone else is playing with, cries over big and small - and has a hard time recovering from the small sometimes).    And so on.  I'm not sure how well I answered - and the questions made me more conscious of what Tomris actually is doing in these situations - because I couldn't be so sure whether she had a pattern.  She seems still a bit unpredictable.  Kind of like her car sickness... I probably should have mentioned that.

She came out happy though - she couldn't remember what they did, but I felt proud along with the other grinning and proud parents .... even the ones with the kid that cried.  He probably won't get in.

counting the day in outfits

Today, Tuana -
Dumped breakfast on herself (outfit number one)
Got her hands into the tree's pot, and threw the dirt on the floor.  Twice.
Got her sister's bowl, dumped it on herself and the floor.  (Outfit number two)
Took a shower - all fresh and clean (outfit number three).
Followed her brother into the bathroom and climbed into the shallow basin of water that I use to bath her on ... fully clothed.  She came out of the bathroom like a slug dragging her slime along with her - smiling and a bit surprised at what she'd gotten herself into.  Oh, and her diaper was full of poop.  (Outfit number four).
I'm sure there was more - but I'm too exhausted to remember.

new friends

And just like that I have a new friend.  A good friend.  I'm so thankful for that.  I don't know her well - but I met her family and their situation.  Americans that moved her 27 years ago.  Their son completed his Ph.D. just last night - his dissertation was presented and accepted.   His wife works at my school, and her oldest will start pre-school with Tomris.

We went over for waffles this morning.  It was just right.

moving on

After school I took all the kids to Teoman's buddy Mina's house.  It's been almost two weeks because her mom was in DC - it looks like they will be moving there at the end of the school year.  My American friend, who has a Turkish husband, worked at my old school with me for year, was pregnant with me, and had her daughter two weeks after mine.  My friend who is my neighbor and we regularly visit and play with since Teoman and Mina were infants - seems to be packing up and leaving.  They are looking at homes in DC.  Rentals around $5000 a month.  Homes running at a million.  I'm not exactly clear what his job his - but I know it will pay well.  A rich life in Turkey and a rich life in DC look very different.  

She said once to me that everyone's always leaving her here.   Now she's the one leaving. And our kids might be a bit heart broken.  I don't think they understand what it means.   

People sometimes ask if we'll ever go back, and I usually say  that if a company sponsors Tolga with a job and a move, we would take it.   It's unlikely, but anything other than that America is a very different kind of hard, but still hard.  

But then again, there's always the possibility of refugee status.  

the characters

Our English team is a funny bunch.
I like people, so its easy for me to enjoy the people I meet and find humor in their uniqueness.
There's Dr. D.  Fify-seven, and do the splits (and has in front of most historical monuments).  Left Mississippi to shake herself up a bit.  Fastidious.  To the the point.  Finds technology the bane of writing.  Every project is just too complicated and too far beyond the scope of fifth graders.  Every rubric is too wordy and too detailed.  Currently working on publishing a comparison and analysis between Ataturk and George Washington.
M who is in charge of technology and integration but was stuck with one of the reading groups.  A flight attendant for many years.  44, single, and still wants her own child - and still talks about as a reality that will happen soon.  Left her career to teach in the inner city and loved it.  Began traveling and teaching  abroad - and extremely good at breaking it down for little and big people.  A bit brass, talks and shares her stories often as if they were life inspirations, laughs easily and loudly.  Selfless when it comes to teaching and taking care of friends.
B - the lead, my age, brought up watching horror movies, Catholic, and with a mother that swore like a trucker.  Married the 13-year-old that sat behind her in band, went to the Peace Corps with him, has two kids.  Well-meaning, over ambitious in her duties, inspired plans, writing and ideas.  Loves her position and titles and showing her data collection.
Little B - young, engaged, quiet, kind.  Started off wishy-washy, but gaining strength in sharing her opinions and influencing choices.

Then there's me.  On a survey that asked "What would you like to do for PD"  A, B, C, D, or Other - I filled that box that was meant for a word or two with an outline of ideas 1,2,3 and subcategories a,b,c.

And they all knew it was me.

heh.

change

Some say nothing is going to change.
You can't change it.
They are not going to change.
You're not gonna change.

Doesn't anyone else find that depressing?  Change is what I am always hoping for.  I hope I do change.  And I'm not talking about the inevitable changes that happen, I mean the harder ones.

I hope I learn to accept people as they are and let go of some of the expectations aI carry.
I hope I change and get better control of my emotions.
I hope I change as a teacher and stop trying to cram every minute full.
I hope my school changes, the country, the world.

It must change.  What's wrong with hoping for this?  How could you not?

review

The Hawk did my review today.

She came in to observe me with an observer observing her.  She pulled me aside to show me the amazing coincidence that she was observing me on the date she had written on my form - a prediction she had unwittingly made a month or two ago.   She continued on, explaining in the thirty or so other evaluations she has done, this had never happened before.
I wasn't as impressed as her.
She called me into her office to give my full review and did about 8 pages beyond what was expected of her.  Her detail was amazing and all positive with specific examples of all the positive things I do in class.  She made me feel great.  She's also a bit crazy.
Then her computer started autocorrecting a form, changing her "E" for excellent to "IS" and she obsessed over that for five minutes calling any semi-tech savvy person in the vicinity - actually two others - into her office to fix it while repeating several times that in the 30 or so evaluation she's done this has not happened once.
I still wasn't impressed.

She is something else, and going out with a bang.

monday

All in all, I like where I'm teaching.  I am getting a handle on things.  I know my students.  I like my students.  I enjoy teaching.  I think each year will get better.  

And it sure is fun coming and going to school with Teoman - sharing that experience with him.  His whole face smiles - his eyes, dimples, and cheeks.

my little partiers

We went to another birthday party today.  This time to almost a million dollar home in another part of town.  A million dollar home in Ankara does not look the same as a million dollar home in America.  And I realize even in America - what a million will buy is different across the country.  But it's hard to believe what it won't buy you here.  There are no suburbs of detached homes and single driveways.  There are tall apartment buildings or gated communities with houses huddled together.  There are no cul-de-sacs.  The view is often onto more construction.  And, as is this case, on home may be freshly concreted, painted, and modern - and connected an identical home that is crumbling, or not as expensively renovated, or having been completed gutted down to the skeleton.

I ended up bringing Tomris and Tuana to this party too.  Tomris didn't want to be left behind, and Tuana is usually at my hip anyhow.  The music was blasting and the kids were dancing.  I sat Tuana off to the side on the rug and she gave a big four-tooth grin and began bopping to the music.  When I hold her hands, she'd try to kick her leg to the music.  And when I wouldn't - she'd go on all fours and kick her leg out as if on dancing still.

the day he learned

I don't know what the etiquette of birthday party's in  Turkey is - I don't know if my group of parents have special rules fitting their elite community.  I don't know what is their normal.

Teoman has had birthday invites all year.  There is never a phone number to call and reserve, or ask questions, or send regrets and best wishes to the birthday child.

And when I receive the invite, do I just drop off my child?  Do I stay?  Do husbands come?  I'm sure Tuana coming along is okay, but what about Tomris - to I just invite her to the party by proxy?

So I haven't gone yet - I needed backup - Tolga specifically - and he has either been away or to tired from having traveled and just getting back.  So we haven't gone yet - and this weekend he has two parties that we planned on going to.

The party was at an art museum under a glass ceiling the was a floor to the outdoor patio above.  There was a magician, a clown, a photographer, appetizers served to the adults and meals served to the kids.  Topped off with a three-tiered Minion cake.

The host was gorgeous and dressed bravely (or suggestively) in white pants and blue blouse with matching blue heels.

After the party we went upstairs to the patio.  The twins' from Teoman's class were zooming around on their bikes without training wheels.  I was surprised to see it - and said so to the father.
"We started them off on a balance bike, so they really only used training wheels for a couple of months."

I told the father I hadn't even considered teaching Teoman until last weekend - we gave it try but he just didn't see to have the balance.

I saw another father put his son on the twins' bike and try to show him.  The twins' father - resident expert - jumped in to add his own tips.  I some point I was walking around holding Tuana's hands, Tolga was next to Tomris - and I looked up to see Teoman trying the bike.  The bike expert was holding the seat for Teoman - getting him started.  I saw Tolga nearby and felt a little bit robbed of the moment.  This was Baba's job.  But, no worries, I thought - it's just practice.

And then there Teoman went.  Wobbly wheel and all.  Across the patio, passed me, turning a wide circle...
"Tolga!!!  Look!!!"
Teoman - just like that - learned how to ride a bike.

He fell - but more dumped his bike I think because he was afraid of falling.  He tried a couple more times.  Each time making it a ways in spite of looking over his shoulder or a wobbly wheel - what a boy!