2 months old

Tuana has chubby cheeks that make her look like a 6 month old.  This picture was taken at the park and there were beautiful pictures through the trees I might have taken, but my phone battery died - she was just waking up (or falling asleep) here.

When Teoman was born - he was our first, and everything was special and incredible.  Teoman was an easy baby - quiet and happy, and we were extremely attentive parents.  The fact that Teoman rarely cried only motivated me more to ensure that he would never need to cry.  When Tomris was born, she was my first girl, and everything was special and incredible.  Tomris had gas pain and fussed a lot, she cried easier than Teoman (and still does).  It was hard because while she wasn't a hard baby, like so many stories I hear - it was a hard trying to find ways to relieve her gas pain.  We went to Kusadasi and the weather was hot.  We had just finished our third floor renovations for us and the kids to all share a room - but the biggest thing for me was not finished: the double french door that would keep the mosquitos out and the air conditioning in. and between the stress of the heat, mosquitos, Tolga gone, and hormones - I was all over the place with my emotions with her.  I was so happy to have a baby girl, and it was such a hard summer. 

But with Tuana - she's different.  It makes me feel guilt about the feelings I had with Tomris.  Tomris is definitely a mama's girl and wavers between clinging to me and independence.  But Tuana is my girl too.  These past two weeks she has only increase to look at me with seeming infatuation.  I just don't remember feeling this with Teoman or Tomris.  Of course I looked at them, and talked and cooed and connected.  But every morning and more and more throughout the day - I catch her following me, and when I make eye contact with her, she smiles, she seems to struggle to figure out how to make noises - how to communicate her excitement with me in different coos and hiccup squeals.  I find I have more patience at 4am with her.  She's strong - she grunts and pushes through gas pain.  She's quiet, but not always - when it's been to long between eating, she tells me.  When she's frustrated because she can't sleep, she tells me.  When gas pain is too much, she tells me - she cries more than Teoman, less than Tomris - but the biggest difference is, I know why she's crying most of the time.  

Because she's my girl.  They are all my babies.  We are learning to be a family, and it's really really great.