so many questions

One part about living in Turkey, and probably any foreign country, is I often find myself walking around with a ton of unanswered questions.  Let me just give you a few from the past two days.

Two hours after school started: What will I be teaching today?  What's my schedule?  When can I leave?

Upon being tasked to prepare students for a high school English speaking entrance exam: Are all the teacher's teaching the same thing?  Are we following some sort of rules or guidelines or formulas to reinforce practice?  (Shouldn't we?)   What are we looking for in their speech?  How does the high school mark it?  How can I be sure to evaluate something so subjective in the same way?


I write these questions down because they are questions you'd think would have clear straightforward answers . . . but for whatever reason they don't.  They never do.  I spent the first couple hours hunting down people to give me a job - the department head sent me to the principal who sent me to the assistant principal who sent me back to the department head.  She gave me a task, but wasn't sure of the answers to the questions I had - in fact, she seemed a bit thrown by them.  I feel as if I am walking around with a big question mark on my forehead.  But I've learned, as well, to accept constant uncertainty - because, I don't need to know everything.  It would be nice to know what I'm teaching that day - but if it wasn't urgent for my superiors - it didn't need to urgent for me.  I've had to let go of a lot of control - and I don't see that as a bad thing.

Here are some more questions I had for the day:

Waiting at the bank with a ticket number in my hand: Why are there so many different numbers?  Are the numbers categorized for different banking issues?  Why are there so many people waiting and some bankers just sitting there?  Are the people waiting for a specific banker?  Is this specific banker better than the other bankers?  Why is the security guy by-passing the pinging numbers to bring me to a banker?  Why is he bringing me to the new guy banker?  (Why is no one else waiting for him?)

In the HR office: Why are there so many people working here now?  (What exactly does HR in Turkey do?)  Why am I writing a note about my leave of absence?  Why am I writing another note in Turkish about quitting?  Why must I turn in my work visa?

In general: Why do people keep telling me in Turkish "Hic bir sey kalmamis" (you have nothing to show) and "Karnen gecti" (you're belly's gone) and the like?  (And, why is everyone stealing looks at my belly?)

By the way, there is still a belly, I'm heavier than I've EVER been, and I'm not comfortable with the stolen looks to my belly - I didn't mind when there was a baby there, but there's not a baby - just belly - STOP SIZING ME UP!  On the positive side, with the continuous comments I'm remembering more often to suck it all in - I justify it as core strengthening - not vain at all.