permission to live

I got my work visa today - what a relief.  Tolga and I had planned to come in on Monday (my last day) to figure out what to do if hadn't come - but problem averted.  The new card is quite slick, an improvement from the mini-booklet I had been carrying around for the past five years.

my new work visa

the old work visa

Tolga is away for a few days in the field, so I've been on my own with the kids.  But it's been much easier with the in-laws around.  My mother and brother-in-law are trying to be very helpful.  Not that they weren't in the past, but they haven't lived here in Ankara since last April, and I think we have all found a fresh appreciation for each other, Ankara, and the family unit.  Gokhan's picking up groceries as we need.  Anne is preparing an easy dinner each night (we usually have breakfast for dinner because its so light).  Baba on the other hand has been kind of out of the picture.  He's sick - and I'm sure if I asked him, he would tell me it's from the cold weather in Ankara.  Gokhan also complained of a stomach ache because the nanny left the window open in his room.  It's winter, but maybe in the mid-forties during the day... not that cold.  Gokhan was about to go to the store for his poor sick Baba.  He wanted some salep to help with his cold.  This is the kind of thing where I should keep my mouth shut because I can't win against the cultural beliefs - but I. just. Can't.

"Ah, I don't think you should get him that.  It is filled with sugar and its a milk product."  My mother-in-law said said something about the drink softening his chest.  I just have one word for them all.

TOES.

Baba had four toes amputated last spring because of his/their carelessness.  They feel sorry for him, he feels sorry for himself, or they claim they can't stop him ... and are always relenting on his diet.  The recent amputation has been a wake up call to all - hopefully permanently.  I suggested all the herbal teas we have - and both Gokhan and my mother-in-law were quick to agree with me against the salep, and seemed to have never considered a herbal tea (which was really surprising, as usually Turks are the first to suggest this).

I know I can't change beliefs or the choices people make, and its just as annoying for me to push my ways on them.  But, I think I'm learning slowly, very slowly, how to let other people live.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I can ever just let other people die.