big hearts

When I first moved to Jersey in 1996 I met people by plugging into my community. I found girls my age doing the same job as I. I found a church. And, I volunteered on the local ambulance corps. Those three moves brought me friendships and relationships with families that I still hold dear today.

It wasn't easy to enter all these new communities at once, but I was brave (but not bold) and forced myself to get involved. When I joined my town's ambulance corps I immediately became involved in weekly night shifts, monthly meetings, and eventually - a softball team.

There was a girl on the corps about my age. I hated the eighties, and I didn't expect I would ever befriend her. She had big curly hair, hot pink nails, and tight jeans. She was outspoken and often her words twisted in such away the everyone could peg her as not being very honest.

But she befriended me. She was the secretary of the corps at the time and it seemed she hardly noticed me, but at the end of the meeting she came over, introduced herself and accepted me without reservation. And so did her whole family. And her extended family. And her fake family. And her future family.

Within those first months I was invited to her wedding, and later on, many holidays and family events. We played softball together. I babysat her kids when I was unemployed. I became their Aunt "Chawlie" - a name dubbed to me by their first daughter when she was just learning to speak(and apparently with a bit of a Brooklyn accent). She somehow confused the sounds of my name - switching them around and the name stuck - through all four children.

When I had been gone for a couple of years and returned with my husband, the kids readily embraced him too. I had my Skype on the other day and my friend's computer was online, but it was her eldest daughter that was calling me. She said,

"Hi Charlie! Whats up?"

She's going into middle school this year. She proceeded to talk to me as if no time had passed and slowly her younger brothers joined the conversation even lifting the youngest 10-month old to the camera to say hello. All the kids have iPod Touches with video screens and FaceTime on them. (Their father told me later that that's how he finds his kids when no one answers the phone). I was added to their personal lists.

After speaking with all the kids, I just shook my head in amazement. I think normal kids would forget a person, or become shy as time went on.

These kids had fearlessly opened their hearts wide to me ... just like their mother. I only hope that my heart could be so big.