when others take responsibility

Maybe its my week, but I've had it with somethings.

I saw my 5th grade lead in the morning and she wouldn't look at me.  Not a good sign.  Guilt, insecurity, bad news, or all three.  I initiated the conversation and asked about the meeting.
"The academic part of the meeting went really well.... I think you need to have another meeting with them about the emotional side."
Blink. Blink. Steam.
My colleague had done a reading analysis of the boy last week.  When I asked her the results her answer was,
"I think I know what his problem is."
"What is it?"
"I'll tell you later."
(me pausing and staring blankly then looking at the paper)  "This isn't his handwriting."
"I didn't have time for him to write, so he gave me the answers verbally and I wrote them down, but it's okay.  I know what the problem is."
"But I asked months ago if I could give him exams that way, and you said no."
"I wrote it down word for word - you can still see his problem in his answers."
"But I told you there is a disconnect between his verbal speech and his written answers."
"I know - but I think I found the problem anyhow."
"What is it?"
"We'll talk about it later."

I went to my room frustrated.  Her withholding of information and thoughts, controlling of pertinent details was weird and typical of the year.  The root of the entire team's frustration.  She created the exams, planned fun days, gave out canteen passes - and complained about too much work in spite of the team's offers to help.  If I were a loving friend, I might confront her on these things, but I'm not so loving - and rather like the fact that she's taking all the responsibility - especially for my first year.  Mostly.

My colleague came back in my room for some reason, and I couldn't let it go.
"I'm so disappointed to hear your comment that there is still an emotional issue.  What was that about?"
"They just kept bringing up the issue over and over again."
"Why didn't you put your heel on the issue - address it and finish it?"
"Don't put this on me!"
I was surprised at her reaction.  She had become defensive and taken it personally really quickly.  I didn't respond - I just stared a bit surprised and she couldn't make eye contact and walked out.  I gave her a minute then followed.
"I'm sorry.  I'm not mad at you.  I'm feeling manipulated by the situation.  Thank you for giving your input into the meeting - I feel frustrated that this issue isn't closed after all the months and hours I've put into this boy, that a misunderstanding is undermining everything and being held against me.
We both had tears in our eyes.

We aren't close, and I can how vulnerable she is, her shields of data and words.  I don't understand it - and as I said earlier, I'm not a loving enough friend to address it - but I understand some of it, and I'm baffled by other parts of it.

In our after school meeting our lead was managing plans for the last two weeks of school.  She had a plan set out, and was trying to be open to other ideas.  One suggested a ropes course.
"Too small."
"How about Panora?" I mentioned.
"Too far."
I looked at her confused.  We had just discussed going to a city 4 hours away for an overnight, Panora was near my house.
"How about the lake on campus?" another offered.
"Oooh - how about Lake Eymir?"
"Too far," she said again.
"How about Mogan Lake?" another offered.
"We've done that before - that would be a good place and has lots of restaurants," our lead considered.
"My concern with Mogan is it's hard to keep track of kids there because of the layout - I don't even like bringing my three there because I have trouble seeing them.  I'm also concerned about the restaurants - there is one central cafe - but the others are a distant to walk too.  Mogan also happens to be farther than Panora and Lake Eymir."
"Eymir's hard to get it, we did Mogan before."

I let it go.  I didn't exactly want to be monitoring lots of kids around a lake.  But also didn't care enough to fight about it.