prayers for hurting

A friend of mine at school is 44 years old and at a stage in her life where she wants to take action on something she’s always wanted - a family.  She hasn’t found a partner, she hasn’t become pregnant (but would like to), she is more than happy to adopt.  Her goal is a family.  We’ve been talking about it off and on and today she was near tears in telling me about it, the cost, the risk, the worries:

“I just want it so bad.”

“Have you ever tried asking God for it?”

“I have had friends ask for me.  You’re more than welcome to.”

“Sure, but have you ever done it?  It’s kind of the whole point of prayer, to give it up a little bit, to ask for help in something you can’t achieve on your own.”

“But religion has always let me down.”

And we both got quiet with tears in our eyes.  

After school, I took the kids down the road to a neighbor’s house.  They had invited me and the kids over - and had told us not to eat.  The neighbor was a parent of a student I taught in 2010.  The twins were in the same class.  Last year, at 16 years old, the boy died under suspicious circumstances - and it was a year this past month.  They had been on my mind at the year anniversary and I had called them to send my thoughts.  They had a young puppy that barked in fear of Tomris while Tomris screamed and cried in fear of the pup.  Throughout the night, they got used to each other.  The pup was put away and came out calmer, and Tomris got brave and swing quickly from bravery to scrambling up me like a tree.  

I don’t know exactly what I was seeing nor even hearing sometimes.  Eda looked beautiful and doing well.  The mom was serving us with distant looks sometimes, not always making sense.  I don’t know if it was grief, drugs, or just her personality.  I wondered if the daughter got tired of hearing her mom talk about the incident, tired of the sadness.  When the wife offered her husband tea, and he stood up saying he could get it himself - I wondered if the husband and wife had lost each other or found each other.

“Murderers,” the mother told me.  “In three or four months, it will all come out.  Everything they did to my son.”

“It is so terrible.  I’m very sorry for it all.”