when a gift is really a gift

It's strange having parents that are dependent.  My parents are so extremely independent, it's strange having a family that's inter-dependent - but I also can't help feeling like - this is how families are supposed to be.

Tolga takes care of his mom and dad.  I don't know how long it has been this way - but longer than I could fathom in a parent-child relationship.  Sure, his parents do things - his mom cooks, his dad putters around the garden.  But Tolga will also give his parents different jobs: he'll give his dad something to fix, he'll buy his mom what she wants to cook or something for the home.  He does this purposefully - recognizing that his parents still need to feel needed and useful - Tolga ironically takes the parental role of making his mom and dad happy.

We buy "gifts" for Tolga's family often - but it's almost always something they need.  But they are easy to buy for because they are always excited by new things.  We bought Tolga's dad a couple of 2XL sweaters at the bazaar, and a 4XL track suit the other day.  His dad thought the track suit was pajamas.  He tried it on and he wouldn't admit it was too tight, but fortunately the sweaters fit fine.  We went to the mall the other night to get a few more things needed at home.  We got pajamas for myself and Baba.  He hasn't had pajamas in years.  He normally sleeps in his clothes on the coach - but now he has a comfy bed and plush pajamas.  He asked me with a big smile across his face, "Are you dressing me nice to marry me off again?"  He went and changed into his new pajamas - they fit great and he came out looking so proud: smiling only slightly and walking with a little spring in his step, not looking at any of us.  We were all laughing at his behavior.  He sat down saying, "Why do you spend you money on me?" Kissing us both.

Then he picked up his hat and said, "Tolga, if you see a hat, could you get me a hat, I don't like mine, it looks like I'm going to the mosque."

Today I came home with a few more things.  My friend gave me a new baby outfit for our son.  When I showed this to my in-laws they were laughing as if it were their own gift.  They both kissed the clothes and said Yavrim.