I left school a little early for the appointment. Tolga called me before I even caught my cab - he was already waiting. We were both a bit giddy.
The professor performs these ultrasounds all the time - especially because it is standard for all pregnant women to have this detailed reading at 20 weeks to ensure everything is "normal". I couldn't help thinking - I suppose if I were this doctor, it may get boring to see all these "normal" babies. In a clinical sense, I'm sure it is more interesting to see something different. At the same time, I felt sorrow drain all other sensations out of me when I imagined the few parents, like my cousin, who get a report that there is a problem.
Tolga and I are both feeling sensitive these days. A child and her pregnant mother will killed today in the cross-fire of terrorists. The unborn baby was birthed anyhow - at 8 months - but survived only one day.
We are proud and humbled by this miracle of life.
We both grinned ear-to-ear during the ultrasound. The doctor pointed out the spine, the heart, the brain, the kidney's, the knee -- all these parts with barely a wiggle of the wand. The 2D picture is becoming less recognizable to me between the blobs of liquid and a body part. But the 3D picture made me gasp. It actually scared me, I think. Our boy looked like me and I was suddenly unsure as to whether I wanted another me around. I guess I was hoping more for another Tolga.
We stared at the pictures over dinner, trying to see who he looks like and marveling at every movement recorded. Tolga called his family and they shared our giddiness enthusiastically.
"He has Rachel's nose!"
"He has big feet! He's going to be tall!"
And our grins just grow.
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