wanting

I think we are supposed to hope for things, but for me I always think its a little dangerous. I tend to hope big. Possibly unrealistically. And usually superficially. Like, I hope for mansions and fame and fancy things.

And then, there are other times - I don't want to want anything. I don't want to hope for the simplest things because it will inevitably lead to wanting things that aren't necessary or necessarily good for me, and the want is insatiable.

The stubborn side of me decided hope involves too much disappointment. It's too dangerous.

Reason tells me there has to be a middle ground. Probably has something to do with accepting things as they are, living in the present, being thankful, and many other reasonable attitudes.

I'm sure I put my wanting on the people around me too. Tolga said the other day: the way to win someone is to accept them.

I tried to swallow that one, but I choked on it.

It's tolga-ism.

Just accept him? Her? Everything?
Ugh.


I don't have to look at that too long to realize that I would first have to accept myself.
Mansions, fame and fancy things or not.