There are some things I know. Somethings that are imprinted deeply in my soul, and I'm not sure how it got there. Maybe I was taught these things, but it is deeper than that - its a knowing (and accepting) in my heart.
When Tolga and I got married, those first few months, some things rose to the surface of me that I just knew to be careful. Everything in me felt caution. Be careful what I choose. Be careful with what I say. Especially, be careful with how I think.
I understood in the core of my being how sacred marriage was, and, how vulnerable we all are . . . no matter who we are . . . to begin to taint or poison ourselves and each other.
Becoming one with another, just changed my awareness of my vulnerabilities. I found myself feeling jealous, suspicious, or just plain insecure. I would sit and shake my head at myself, well aware of how irrational my feelings were. Yet, there it was - the dangerous seed of a thought.
And so, we find ourselves in a strange dressage between the gallop of loving one another unconditionally, and the reigns we must put on our minds and mouths.
A glimpse of how we might live and hope.
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