I look at my husband and I am encourage more and more. It is a gift to be married. A gift I never thought much about and assumed that I would receive one day. But I am humbled by the surprise and my own arrogance that I would ever have such a privilege as marriage. I, we - keep working for this, and for this I don't have as much doubt, because our marriage is our starting point and our returning point.
Both Tolga and I are working at Target now. It's a bit comical, and we both enjoy the mindless brawn they've hired. It is stress free, responsibility free, for barely above minimum wage. Tolga works the opening shift - 4am for four to eight hours, I work the closing shift for four to six hours. He works receiving lines, I work the sales floor. It's mindless and busy, and apparently only getting busier in the next week. Tomorrow I work at a middle school teaching Science, and then Target until close. I am happy with the work for now, and still hope for a job for Tolga.
I haven't heard back from St. Paul Schools yet, so I'm assuming I haven't got any of the positions and/or they are negotiating offers with other teachers. I'm not completely disappointed, as I surely didn't want a part-time position if I could make more working as a sub ... it is not an exciting choice, but a necessary choice. I want to be free our financial burdens here.
I applied for another job as an Emergency Room Technician at a local hospital. I actually had to apply through their mammoth website, a process I 've been doing, and continuing to do since last March, but I usually am rejected by email within a couple of weeks of applying. I went to the hospital the other day, hoping to bypass the system, and meet a person. I talked with the HR assistant, who could only check that my application was submitted. In the end, she relented and said I could call the office next week and she would connect me with the HR Generalist. In the meantime, I've decided my next strategic attempt will involve depositing my resume in certain people's mailboxes . . .
In the meantime, subbing is always a trip. Today I subbed at a school that was two blocks from my house. And apparently, my house is in the ghetto. Okay, not really the ghetto - but all the teachers at Webster seem to think so. There are many apartments around us that are low-income housing. Okay, and come to think of it, there was a shooting recently. But it's not that bad, is it? I told her I lived in the four-plex down the street, the teacher asked, "The one facing the street or the sideways one?" And proceeded to tell me of a student that had that used to live in "the sideways one".
The class was relatively fine, but as I always say - Elementary is exhausting. There are a million things that an elementary school teacher does in a day - that's what makes it fun. Coming in as an outsider, it gives me really bad headaches. The kids' day is one of a thousand routines. Come in, hang up things, set chairs, file homework, sign in attendance, participate in interactive on board - all in the first five minutes. I tend to fall behind in the elementary school day, and mine turns into one where I am late on snack, transitions, lunch and recess. Elementary school kids love their routines, and always tell me when I'm doing something different or forgetting something (even if that something they had only done one time because it's fun to know more than the sub).
The kids are extreme too. Tuesday I was subbing a class. At one point he went to the bathroom (a toilet was in the classroom). I had to count for him to come out as he was playing with the faucet. He came out and proceeded into a meltdown that started with elephant tears, turned into a scream and picking up a chair that he threw out into the hallway. He was six years old.
Kids used to throw desks in the middle school I taught at, and I was surprised at the first grader's outburst. Poor kid. I know the feeling. I subbed at my alma mater the other day, and one student - after hearing of the places I worked - asked, "Are you afraid for your life when you go home?"
It got me thinking about the differences between the cities, between the states. Why, when I go to one district, is the work independent, self-directed - while it takes so much management in city schools. Are the suburban kids more capable of making independent choices that will benefit their futures, while city kids are not. It seems so. The city kids are faced on the immediate, the basic the needs that have yet to be met.
Wait a minute.
I'm focused on the immediate too.
No comments:
Post a Comment