Passion's Risk

I've been mulling over Paul Peixoto's blog in regards to finding your passion and creating goals around this passion. We've had many conversations about this, and it's on my mind again because amidst everything, I do recognize both Tolga and I (and many others) could take this opportunity to go in a completely different career direction. It makes sense that your career must align with your passion because our end goal in work isn't simply money or advancement. We are constantly looking for ways to exercise our creativity as extensions of ourselves, and this is fulfilling. It is fulfilling to contribute into other people's lives with what you are good at, and the relationships resulting from shared visions are fulfilling as well.

But . . .

Passion is a strong word and seems like it takes a lot of energy as well. I'm not so sure I feel passionate any longer, or even if I want to. I enjoyed teaching. I would often be a bit reserved with my emotions, not often revealing much of how I was feeling, but I did enjoy giving it my best and helping student's grow. When I switched to a more elite school, my new team was filled with people passionate about their jobs. I joined right in, and I was passionate about students achieving all the lofty goals we set for them.

I am afraid that allowing myself to be passionate simply burned me out in the end, and I am worse off for it.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the meaning of passion.

Maybe I wasn't ever passionate for education.

Maybe I wasn't passionate enough.

School is starting in these parts and I fine myself without any desire to participate in other teacher's enthusiasm. I enjoy the kid's enthusiasm, and I share their desire to learn, create, and interact - but I no longer want to answer to people or systems that diminish something I used to love.

Now how to I create an income out of that one?