Heels

Today I:

Called our property manager, spoke to our property manager (finally), received more promises of payments and promises to not make promises any more.

Wrote a letter to the Coop requesting permission to extend the lease with our tenant.

Sat in the Roseville district office to get my substitute badge while four persons in front of me tied up the machine.

Stopped at the library to pick up "Microsoft Office 2007 for Dummies" in hopes that it will give me an edge for my interview on Thursday as an adjunct online part-time instructor.

Wore my black heels to my interview at Volunteers of America.

I know I am supposed to dress up for an interview, and I usually do. I'm very conscious of my outfits and the impressions they give. My consciousness of this has more often led me to dress down because I hate to stand out. I don't know where I got that feeling from, but in general I make choices like tying my hair back, no hair band, dull necklaces, black pants, flat shoes, etc., because these things inadvertently cause people to draw immediate conclusions about you: glasses = academic, hair band = hippie, and so on. For this reason, I don't usually where heels either. People notice heels. You are tall and possibly intimidating. Your feet click with determination and power. Heels are not gentle. Heels with a suit strikes me as shrewd. Heels remind me of my younger sister.

Today I needed heels.

VOA's "Opportunity High School" is ninety percent Somalian student population, and geared for English Language Learners. I could better prepare for the interview by anticipating some of the questions (like: how will you differentiate work for ELL students? How do you teach or compensate for culture in the classroom?), but while I'm interested in learning about new schools - I'm hesitant to invest myself so fully into an interview because all need to ask "Why did you choose our school?" and my answer at this point is the same, "I need a job."

The director led me through the school. I caught my escort continually glancing at my shoes and I felt immediately self-conscious. We stopped in a classroom of five students and the teacher sitting casually on top of a desk. As soon as I crossed the threshold I smelled bad body odor - my immediate cultural reminder.

We continued down the hallway into the meeting room, and the interviewing staff of four seemed very "present" in their questions. The staff was familiar with my New York City Teaching Fellows program actually having had a former staff member who had been a Fellow and was from Stillwater. Weird. The director was also familiar with Achievement First's different models, and had said they were putting their techniques into use for professional development for starters. Really weird. They were the first group to glean from me that I wasn't hundred percent sure our long term plans would keep us in Minnesota, but I tried to assure the group that these were our plans for now -- to which all of them scribbled a note at the same time.

What can I say, its hard to commit fully when asked directly - we are with family and are happy, but our long term plans right now we are basing on Tolga's job placement.

In any case - they knew where I was coming from and where I was going in a way, and that's the kind of environment I needed.

Upon my exit, another man got out of his seat and opened the door for me as I exited the building.

It's the heels.