I am not sure even where to begin, but I can't stop thinking about it, so I have to write about it.
It's summertime and we are in Kusadasi, staying at our summer home. We live in a community called Nür Site, a short walk from the beach, maybe 150 meters. The entire walk is through Idarecelar Site a crowded, old, established community where our uncle/aunt/cousins/cousin's children live. They live in a very tiny, but two floor home, closest to the beach - with a small grassy area before the beach, and then of course the beach itself.
The uncle is Anne's oldest brother. His wife is pure evil, apparently. His son is crazy and despicable. Their grandchildren are still young and sweet. Sometimes we are getting along, sometimes we are not. I never know actually because I'm never a part of the drama - but mean things have been said, crazy things have been threatened - apparently there is some drama every couple of years.
We are having an "on" year.
Another cousin, visiting from Istanbul, is still on the "off" year when it comes to this family. I brought her and her son and my children down to the beach today and she was purposely avoiding their house, or being seen by them. They had said some bad things about her mother, I guess.
On the beach there are some umbrellas. There are poles in the sand, and under the sand is a block of cement to secure the metal poles. On top of the poles are wood/bamboo woven umbrellas. Several years ago, only Idracelar Site had these umbrellas, but then other communities (including ours) complained that it was a public beach and they had to share. They didn't share their umbrellas, but they moved over and two more communities added umbrellas. Since Ramazan has finished, the beach has been pretty full and it has been hard to find an umbrella. We had been using whichever umbrella we could find open, but today the guard had begun.
There is a worker, hired by Idarecelar to do odd jobs, and one of them is to guard the communities umbrellas. He removes or places the umbrella tops on the poles when people come and go. I run into him every year. Every year he tells me I can't sit under their umbrellas. Sometimes he lets me if its not too crowded, most times he doesn't. I don't really care because I'm in the water with the kids the whole time and then we leave. However, when Anne comes, she must sit under an umbrella - being older and all - and even when she's with me and has explained to the man that her Abi lives right over there, he still won't allow it.
Today, when we came - we took the last umbrella on the beach - and it was Idarecelar's umbrella. The guard came over and told my cousin we couldn't sit there. I was talking on the phone with Tolga so I didn't interfere as my middle-aged cousin has a loud mouth and can hold her own. I told Tolga what was going on, kind of laughing, and Tolga instantly got mad. First he wanted to talk to the guy, then he wanted to talk to my cousin.
I was gonna just dismiss it all, but at the same time - I understand my husband, and I love him for it. He wants to fight for me. He's frustrated that he has to be away, and so more than usual, he is ready even needing to fight for me. Teoman was already in the water which was calm and clear today - so I handed the phone to my cousin and moved to the water's edge to be close to Teoman. My cousin came a bit later - she had lost the fight, the man had taken away the umbrella top from where we were sitting even after she explained our uncle lived there. She was mad, but I just shrugged. She said Tolga was going to call our uncle/cousin to sort it out.
I as able to swim on my own for the first time - my cousin watched the kids and I went out to the water and it was beautiful. I thanked God for out beautiful ocean and for such a place as this. I love the beauty of swimming in the aqua seas of the warm Mediterranean waters. I took the kids in the water and we were laughing - they were loving it - it was beautiful.
I noticed a commotion on the beach. I kind of scoffed, look at that, someone else is mad about the umbrellas. The man was storming across the beach in a bright red shirt and bright blue shorts with a grey head of hair. I noticed our cousin's wife on scene, and lots of other Turks getting involved while the entire beach watched this man.
Then I realized this man was Hakan, my brother-in-law.
We came into the shore and Hakan was screaming at people. I thought he was going to explode. I learned later that he had pulled up and stormed up and down the beach saying, "Where is Adam? Who's Adam!" Hakan had come to us and asked who the man was and his mouth was downturned and his head seem to barely contain his rage. There was no use in stopping him, or even greeting him - he had come to take care of a problem. The man was sitting on the bench in-between some people - I don't know if he was hiding or if he didn't realize what was happening but as we came to the beach we pointed out the man. In the meantime, others had come up to Hakan and men began to collect to see what the problem was. The guard finally stood up (once we had pointed hime out) and approached Hakan and Hakan began screaming at the man. I don't really know what was said, and it seems the guard was trying to hold his ground - maybe he was feeling safe with all the men around. He and Hakan were about the same size and Hakan shoved him. Apparently, his plan was come straight up to the man and punch him. I'm glad he didn't - and I'm hoping he chose not to in the end because we were near. I don't think I could have stomached it.
My uncle's daughter-in-law was there too - and eventually I saw my uncle himself - 81 years old, trying to comprehend what's going on. The cousin next to me was trying to say her piece as well, but Hakan ordered her to stay out of it. My cousin shut up right away, but not for long. Her 12 year old son started crying, which eventually pulled her out of the mess. I'm sure the yelling scared him - and I knew the feeling.
Hakan had screamed at the man to bring the umbrella for us right away. Right away! I wasn't sure if he looked like a child having a hissy-fit, or a man trying not to fight.
And here's what I keep thinking about it: Hakan fought for us, for his brother. He knew Tolga was mad and he stepped into Tolga's shoes - and fought for us as. He left work, drove a half hour to our beach to fight for us. Over an umbrella. An umbrella! But then again, this is Turkey, and it was more than that - stuff I don't fully understand, but I know and trust Tolga, and thus his brother Hakan. And Hakan didn't back down - people were trying to calm him down, they were trying to maybe change his mind or disagree - and Hakan wouldn't be deterred. You disrespected my family - they are my children too - and I will not stop until that wrong has been righted.
My own brothers would fight for me, sure - but never like that, and never over something so seemingly small. Maybe for their own pride they would (yep, witnessed that at a bar once...), surely over big things - but yelling and screaming and making a scene - leaving work and their own responsibilities? I think that is my heritage coming out -- too reticent, too righteous of attitudes, too proud even to let ourselves show such emotion ... I mean, I always knew Hakan would come if ever I needed him no matter what - but I would have never asked him to come for something like this - and yet, there he was.
I am very moved by the scene - Tolga has always told me (and I always believed him) - but today I saw what my brother would do for me, for us, if ever we needed anything.
How did it end? I'm still not sure. We left the beach, talked to the polis who had been called, talked to our uncle, and went home.
Apparently, if I go to the beach again, the umbrellas are mine. Hakan said, "This is Turkey. You have to be this way to be respected."
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