It is a girl!

About a month before my delivery, my co-workers thew me a shower with a cake that read "It is a girl!"  

It was comforting to go into this with experience.  With Teoman, I was induced and it was long and painful and unproductive.  I remember just watching the second hand going around, and the minute hand going around, and the hour hand going around - all night through the harder contractions.  Tomris started at five in the morning with bad cramping (I thought 'I'm in labor, or ....I ate something really bad').  My in-laws were still in Kusadasi - they were coming the next day by bus.  Tolga left for work a few hours later, by then I had decided they were contractions because I was sweating (unusual for me) but they were so irregular I told Tolga to go to work and I would call him if I need him to come.  I was alone, but not afraid, and I was starting to get excited.  The contractions were pretty painful but not as torturous as the ones with Teoman through the night.  These ones, I couldn't stand, and I could hardly sit, but the pilates ball in my home finally got some real use.  So with Teoman running around and occasionally on me, I sat on the pilates ball and turned on the season finale of Downton Abbey. Around 11, I put Teoman down for his nap, and then laid down and I was able to sleep in between contractions (I was REALLY tired).   One particularly strong one got me up and to the bathroom where I noticed I was bleeding some, and that was around 1pm.   

I wasn't concerned but I sent Tolga and email knowing he would call the doctor right away and the doctor would probably want me to come in. I sent Tolga and email because I didn't want to talk to him - I was annoyed that he was sitting at his desk all oblivious and relaxed while I was laboring and "playing" with Teoman who was up now ... Tolga called me anyhow and I was real snappy with him (he was asking me about the email I sent him - I told him "read the email!" in gritted teeth).  He had called the doctor and she said to come in.  Tolga came home and was so efficient getting our bags and stuff to the door.  I, on the other hand, said, "I'm taking a shower!"  He was a little shocked but didn't argue with his crazed wife.  We drove to the hospital and went to my doctor's office - she checked me and said "congratulations, you're 5-6 cm".  My appointment was at 4pm.  They wheeled me upstairs, gave me an epidural and some Pitocin to speed things up, and I had Tomris at 6:05pm.   

Just like that.  On June 21st, 2014 Tomris Mae was born weighing 3.9 kilos, healthy and with a full head of black hair.  

The epidural worked this time too - the anesthesiologist did it in one go, and I could hardly feel a thing until it was time to push (whereas Teoman, now I know it hardly worked).  I had read some birthing books with Teoman, and they were so encouraging I went from wishing for a C-section to considering a natural at home birth with candles in an antique claw tub and all that.  In some ways, I was more prepared, but truthfully, all I wanted was a healthy baby - so while every book said to have a birth plan, my only "plan" was anything for a healthy baby.  So while I'm sure it wasn't necessary for Pitocin and another episiotomy, in the end - I wasn't going to argue or stop anything.  

I don't know how long I pushed, I suppose it wasn't long.  Tomris came into this world with cries.  They didn't put he directly on me and I was anxious until they did - she cried, they cleaned her nose, dried her body, and took initial measurements before they brought her back to me for brief nursing.  

My girl.  My baby.

I went to the delivery room and felt nothing.  I understand now why they have to turn the medicines now so you can actually push because I had no feeling.  And in retrospect, the speeding up of everything with drugs probably wasn't the best thing for my body. I few hours afterwards I got really sick - bleeding, vomiting, passing out - I scared Tolga and the nurses at one point because I couldn't make it back to my bed, my eyes stared straight ahead and I made a noise like death rails during one of my fainting episodes.  It was a terrible feeling.   They brought the doctor back in who gave me some more medicines and by midnight I was fine again.  They had massaged my uterus and by morning I felt like I had been punched in the stomach a hundred times.  I hadn't realized I could still use my epidural - not until the woman took it out the next day.   

It's funny/strange - in America we try to control everything, you know - knowledge is power.  But here, everything when it comes to medicine seems to be vague and a big question.  It's hard for me to get straight answers about anything (i.e. a friend was pregnant and had to stay in the hospital for 5 days - when I asked why, she said because she needed some "serum".  Um... like in the 50s? 5 days?  But that was all the info I got).  The majority of people in Turkey have voluntary C-sections, and even those who intend to have a normal birth end up with C-sections for questionable reasons.  So, I've had to let go a lot of my need to know/control to a point - thankfully, my doctor was able to deliver now two babies from me normally.

Tomris was not sleeping well from the beginning - I think she preferred the womb.  Me too - nice and safe with everything you need.  I checked out of the hospital within 24 hours - it was so quick, and to come home with a new baby is like nothing else in the world.  

It was our first night away from Teoman.  He met us at the door in his pajamas and I bent down to show him his new sister. He seemed to understand it was important, and maybe even believed we were bringing her home for him.  He ran and got her a toy.  Sixteen-and-a-half months old and he was already taking on the role of abi.  

Thank you Lord for such miracles.