newborns

I didn't think it was possible to live on a couple hours of sleep (maximum) for an extended period of time . . . (what about REM, true sleep, etc?  Will I go crazy?) ... but I guess this is another amazing motherly adjustment.  I feel rested after a 45 minute nap.  I wake up usually just before him, and it's worth getting up to feed him every 3 hours . . . it's our son!  What an amazing thing to be able to say.

I'm learning Teoman's sounds.  Especially at night.  At first, it was really hard to fall asleep because all his little noises made me pop out of bed to find out what was going on.  Or, if he didn't make any noises I felt just as worried.  I constantly had the urge to get up and make sure he was okay, check his breathing even.  It doesn't help reading all this vague information on the unknown danger known as SIDS.

Eventually I would sleep out of exhaustion, and now I can tell if he's just working out gas or if he's hungry.  Sometimes when I check on him, his eyes will be wide open . . .just staring.  I want to stay awake with him and stare back at least.  He is so precious.

My Anne takes him in the morning after I've been up with him on-and-off through the night so I can get a good nap in.  I think she's missed him through the night too and waits kind of excitedly for me to hand him over.  She always says to Teoman, "Kurbam olsun"  - I could die for you.  She wraps him up tight in a blanket so by the time I take him back I have to strip him down out of fear that he's overheated.  Baba will then come over and yell (because he's deaf and excited) "Nerede seni benin olgum?  Kyma, Kyma!  Yavri benin" - Where are you my son?  Kyma is the word used to described the cream on top of the milk, the richest part.  My dear one.  Baba also keeps insisting that Teoman wears a hat "because he's cold, I know this."  Mind you, Baba likes to wear a wool knit cap around the house himself.  We've tried to explain to him that the doctor said it wasn't necessary, that its a SIDS risk, that the head is the only way for him to cool down if he's overheating.  Baba doesn't believe us.  And, when Teoman sneezes, he says, "See, I know. He's cold."  And he places the burp cloth over his head.

Gokhan will take Teoman throughout the day too - they all love on him so much, kissing him, talking to him.  Gokhan is also in the habit of telling me every time Teoman passes gas or poops.  "His bottoms dirty.  Should I look?  Should we change it?  Ohh, Rachel, he really did it now."  I can't quite translate my thoughts on the topic to Gokhan - I started off changing him every time I heard a noise too, but its impossible to keep up that pace, and in the end . . . you get poop and pee on your hand because your changing him too soon.  So I just say, okay, I know, thanks.

Tolga is my biggest help.  Always.  He turns on classical music for us.  He changes him.  He comes and checks on us.  I'm glad we're doing this together, as a family.