Hoping for Spring

For the most part, I am a very adaptable person. For the most part, I love change. For the most part, it must be a gift of mine because it doesn't seem all that normal.

I always wanted to move when we were younger - just for a change. When I did move, I loved it. It wasn't easy, but I loved the challenge of making a new life, making new friends, joining a new community. Even new jobs were an exciting change.

And then, there are some days when I hit my limits of change. When the change was too much and I didn't want to change any more. I didn't want to grow anymore. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and be left alone for a few . .. years. The idea of staying the same was looking real attractive.


Or maybe I am just yearning for they day when all the changes are finished.


Or maybe I'm just yearning for American conveniences. Ankara is a modern city, but there are many villages around the country that could classify parts of Turkey as third world. Our standard of living in America is indeed higher than some parts of Turkey. Tolga and were talking about these things, and if I didn't realize it before, I do now -- because all of these things are linked to money. A lot of money. Our home in Kusadasi is a good home, but it is a summer home and to make it year round would cost lots and lots of money. Even finishing jobs half-started cost money. And so, my Turkish family accepts things as they are. As we are. They have learned this from hard experiences. From days when there wasn't enough money for food . . . and these days left little room in their hearts for judgement and arms that are continually open to each other and what life may bring, as messy as it sometimes is.

So, in the winter - in our summer home, we have electric room heaters, solar panals, half-begun projects and a roof that needs to be re-roofed . . . and a patient family that accepts things as they are and continually hopes and plans for the future . . . or the summer at least.