Nostalgia?

I taught at my old high school today. I feel so nostalgic when I'm in high schools - the pep rallies, the sports and clubs, the school pride, orchestra . . . yes, I was in orchestra and proud of it.

I see my picture on the wall. Even then, our school had just under 2000 students. I'm standing with horrible bangs on the Varsity soccer team my Senior year. We got second that year, but it doesn't tell my story. I actually played JV all year long, and was pulled up to warm the bench during state. I actually had quit the sports I loved, but I was still enjoying soccer until I was pulled up to boring ole' Varsity. I did not fit in. I wasn't good enough. I didn't care enough. Who knows.

High school - it was such a small world. I feel regret for the not trying more things, not being more involved. I feel intimidated and forgotten among the thousands.

And I also feel that old nudge - that Stillwater isn't enough for me. The world here is too small and too limited. I've missed home, I'm enjoying being home - but Stillwater always reminds me that this is not my home, and I'm not sure why.