saturday

I went to bed early.  I was exhausted.  School has started and everyday I'm feeling stressed exhausted.  Work is hanging over me.  Work and frustration.  And then there's my kids.  Needing my full attention - and I can't do my work.  Nor can I escape my house to do it.  Nor do I want to.  So I delay. I resent my work.  And I get frustrated with my kids.  They seemed to fight all morning.  We made french toast, then I packed us all into the car with a stroller, skateboard, and bike.  We went to the park and played for couple of hours but the fighting, crying continued.
Are they as tired as me?
We went home and Tuana slept.  Teoman and Tomris played quietly some but it took HOURS for them to cleanup - I had promised them cookies, but there was no butter.  I offered popcorn as back up - but went to he cupboards and found the popcorn all gone.  Every. Last. Kernel. That's living with Gokhan.  I've nicknamed him The Finisher, because that's what he does.  Finishes things and doesn't replace them because "I forgot."  He lived by himself most of the summer and put on at least 20 pounds with all that freedom he had - with no one to hold him accountable, no one to answer to, no one's health to look after - he was free.  But freedom to Gokhan meant fried eggs in butter with potatoes, french fries, popcorn, and sunflower seeds.  Butter and salt.