"Hey, that's awesome - can you teach us how to do that?" or "Let's all do it like Rachel." or "Rachel, let's put you in charge of this" or "Rachel, what should we do next?"
Love frees us to make mistakes, and try again.
However with the potential accolades will come the criticisms,
"You aren't doing enough" or "Why aren't you doing this..." or "You need to do more of that..." I've made a ton of mistakes, that are mostly unseen, but with more attention on my successes, surely my mistakes wouldn't be overlooked.
On my old resume I have I list of my achievements - my last achievement was in 2007. My "achievements" since then are on a different scale: marriage, moving continents, cultural integration, and babies.
I had an interview at the school I think I want our kids at. It's one of the top schools in Turkey and their benefits package is very good - the main benefit being my kids will attend for free.
The school is filled with foreigners. I had written to them that I thought the school would be a better fit for me because it was more like a schools I know. I would be given my own classes, I would be a part of the English Department decisions, exams, planning - everything.
At my current school - I am appreciated, I like my co-workers, classes, freedom, etc. But I sit in meetings and cannot follow the details because of language, or when I can follow - it doesn't seem to matter because it doesn't apply to me for I have little to do with my department colleagues. The plans they discuss and make are separate from my whole curriculum. I am, on my own. Even the Pearson consultant who comes and meets with us will have private meetings with me because my program is all my own, on my own.
It's great and it's lonely.
I feel comfortable walking into this international school - there are ninety percent Turkish students there, but the English department is run by English native speakers. They make the decisions. They have positions like "Literacy Coach" and "Department Head." At my current school - I'm more like a magazine cover or sales pitch - look, all of our students get time with a native English speaker, complete with the blond hair and blue eyes. It is as superficial as my job is there - I give no marks, I have no responsibility.
But interviewing with the two foreigners - I was instantly tired with the education show. My head started pounding. They asked me questions about differentiation, technology in the classroom, data analysis, what I would do next after looking at some writing samples . . . aargh!
I'm not sure, but I think I'm terrible at interviews. I couldn't help thinking: Why are we going through these paces? How am I not an instant hire? I've got the licenses, degrees, five successful years at a Turkish school, a Turkish husband and children and thus true investment into the system. Do they really have that many people knocking at their door for a position?
Hearing their questions, looking at their classrooms - this is a real school. Not that my school isn't, I'm just not treated as real teacher, which has its plus side too: I don't carry the workload like the regular teachers. The new school - there's no doubt I would carry a heavier load. School starts a half hour earlier, ends fifteen minutes later. Meetings after school on Wednesdays, and some weekends. Not to mention parent-teacher night that I would now have to be a part of, exams, report cards, more teaching hours and responsibilities.
On top of all that - I have to prove myself to these guys in a half-an-hour question answer setting, and then again and again if I actually start working. And here I just wanted to teach, be heard, and maybe teach teachers.
And to dampen it all - the woman threw out their the "in-country hires" don't get the same benefits as those coming from overseas.
I want this job for my kids, and maybe for myself ... but I'm not sure if I'm ready for this job in September. My kids are still all at home next year - and I want to be home with them - not leaving at seven and coming home at five. Tuana will still be so young...
I suppose every teacher, and every student, heck - every human wants this.
My Pops called this need unconditional love.
However with the potential accolades will come the criticisms,
"You aren't doing enough" or "Why aren't you doing this..." or "You need to do more of that..." I've made a ton of mistakes, that are mostly unseen, but with more attention on my successes, surely my mistakes wouldn't be overlooked.
On my old resume I have I list of my achievements - my last achievement was in 2007. My "achievements" since then are on a different scale: marriage, moving continents, cultural integration, and babies.
I had an interview at the school I think I want our kids at. It's one of the top schools in Turkey and their benefits package is very good - the main benefit being my kids will attend for free.
The school is filled with foreigners. I had written to them that I thought the school would be a better fit for me because it was more like a schools I know. I would be given my own classes, I would be a part of the English Department decisions, exams, planning - everything.
At my current school - I am appreciated, I like my co-workers, classes, freedom, etc. But I sit in meetings and cannot follow the details because of language, or when I can follow - it doesn't seem to matter because it doesn't apply to me for I have little to do with my department colleagues. The plans they discuss and make are separate from my whole curriculum. I am, on my own. Even the Pearson consultant who comes and meets with us will have private meetings with me because my program is all my own, on my own.
It's great and it's lonely.
I feel comfortable walking into this international school - there are ninety percent Turkish students there, but the English department is run by English native speakers. They make the decisions. They have positions like "Literacy Coach" and "Department Head." At my current school - I'm more like a magazine cover or sales pitch - look, all of our students get time with a native English speaker, complete with the blond hair and blue eyes. It is as superficial as my job is there - I give no marks, I have no responsibility.
But interviewing with the two foreigners - I was instantly tired with the education show. My head started pounding. They asked me questions about differentiation, technology in the classroom, data analysis, what I would do next after looking at some writing samples . . . aargh!
I'm not sure, but I think I'm terrible at interviews. I couldn't help thinking: Why are we going through these paces? How am I not an instant hire? I've got the licenses, degrees, five successful years at a Turkish school, a Turkish husband and children and thus true investment into the system. Do they really have that many people knocking at their door for a position?
Hearing their questions, looking at their classrooms - this is a real school. Not that my school isn't, I'm just not treated as real teacher, which has its plus side too: I don't carry the workload like the regular teachers. The new school - there's no doubt I would carry a heavier load. School starts a half hour earlier, ends fifteen minutes later. Meetings after school on Wednesdays, and some weekends. Not to mention parent-teacher night that I would now have to be a part of, exams, report cards, more teaching hours and responsibilities.
On top of all that - I have to prove myself to these guys in a half-an-hour question answer setting, and then again and again if I actually start working. And here I just wanted to teach, be heard, and maybe teach teachers.
And to dampen it all - the woman threw out their the "in-country hires" don't get the same benefits as those coming from overseas.
I want this job for my kids, and maybe for myself ... but I'm not sure if I'm ready for this job in September. My kids are still all at home next year - and I want to be home with them - not leaving at seven and coming home at five. Tuana will still be so young...
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