all kinds of connections

This was a posting on my classroom site:

Student A: I'm so excited to read this book.  I wanna solve the mystery.

Student B: Mee too.

Student C: Me three! Just kidding.  There is no such word as that.

Student B: I wish there was.
Student B: I hope somebody says "me four";

Student C: Yeah.  That would be cool.

Student B: No it would be extremely cool.


I was thinking the other day about social media.  How I used to write letters and put them in the MAIL.  How I had a pager at one point - when they were already NOT cool.  Pay phones.  Post cards.

What if I didn't have technology today - I would not be able to communicate with my family.  I would be very alone here in Turkey.  Then again, I'm not sure I would have travelled in the first place, let alone developed a relationship with Tolga.

So what has social media, podcasts, the Internet... done with our relationships?  With my relationships?

On the one hand, my relationships are too many, too casual, and too superficial.  I can choose to "catch up" with someone passively by simply looking at their Facebook page and never engaging with that person.

On the other hand, the relationships and connections I have made in the different stages of my life or over an increasing span have time - never get lost.  I can reminisce, drop a word of encouragement, be "there" when needed.

I imagined my life here without video phone calls, email, or social media ... I imagined my trip to States having had little contact or update with people.  Would our conversations be more meaningful? More filled with purpose?  Would I take our time less for granted?

Media filters out the personal stories - it highlights the beautiful - births, weddings, accomplishments - and hides the struggles.  Someone fighting an illness - mental or emotional.  Struggles.  Obstacles.  Occasionally a person will shout out to the world frustrations at work or personal, and the public reply can be encouraging or nasty - but it's always limited.

Would I meet my family and ask better questions than, "How's it going?"  Would I get deeper answers?  Would I know how to have these kinds of conversations.  Could I give a better answer?  Where do you begin?

At one point we did this.  My oldest brother, Seth, and I had a strong relationship at one point - because we saw each other almost everyday.  And when we asked each other "How's it going?" we set aside time for long answers and overtime we knew "fine" wasn't enough of an answer.  So, maybe it was the practice, or our commitment.

I hear of people's struggles sometimes, and I regret that I can't hear these first hand.  Could I do this with my family - bypass the superficial and get to our heart's longings?  With some people, I suppose I still can -- these are my close relationships - so what to do with all these passive relationships?

My students are kids.  Their attempts to communicate in English are sweet and innocent.  Not so loaded with ideas other than innocent exploration of language and relationships.  But we all want something deeper and more meaningful.  I don't want to miss out on all the life that happens in between posts.

I used to push my parents.  Hard.  To answer my questions in detail.  They were not very good at it, but I clung to their stories because for a time, I would feel like I was there ... living things with them. Maybe this is what I want from media these days.  To use it to connect, not passively, but to show that while I may not be physically there, I still care about the daily dramas and the larger struggles.  And it doesn't have to be meaningless.