I'm going to the hospital

It sounds dramatic, but it isn't.  In Turkey, most people go to hospitals for regular check-ups.  I wanted a private doctor's office, but no tests can be done at an office - just recommendations for tests to be done at hospitals - so it is  just easier to go straight to the hospital.  I had to go to the hospital for Teoman's 2-month check-up, but it was complicated for a couple of reasons.

First, Tolga was away.  My doctor claims he can speak English, but he rarely bothers, and important details rarely get translated well.  Secondly, Teoman's doctor is in the same hospital that I gave birth - but the hospital was under some sort of renovation, so I had to go to their other hospital for his 2-month check-up.  I had never been to this hospital so I was rather nervous about finding everything.  Lastly, Teoman had to get his shots - and I was dreading this.

You never have to wait long in a private hospital.  I was directed to the 5th floor to see my doctor, the 1st floor for a blood test, the third floor to see Teoman's doctor, the basement to get an ultrasound of Teoman's hip (it's something they require in Turkey to check for hip development or dislocations), and back to the third floor.

His shots were the last thing.  I was a little panicked about this.  I tried to exude calmness because babies are like horses I think - they can sense your fear.  So I talked to him while he smiled so hugely, looking at me with such love and trust until the shock and horror of the needle . . . three times . . .

Teoman had to get his shots to protect him from disease, and I would do anything to get rid of those diseases so he wouldn't have to experience the pain of a shot - heck, I don't want him to experience any pain.  Ever.  What was I thinking bringing a life into such a broken world?

I couldn't hold him while they did the shots, but I put my cheek next to his after his body spasmed with each shock of the shot to try to give some comfort.  It think he produced his first true tears.

I nursed him afterwards and he calmed quickly.  I brought him out and buckled him in his car seat.

He smiled at his Gramps and Gigi, even while the tears were still wet in his eyes.