Wednesday, November 2, 2011

adventurous, brave, or risky?


July 9th, 2001
New Jersey – Somewhere over the Atlantic

I had taken a trip to Europe in 1999, where I bought a Eurail pass and traveled through 13 countries in a two-month whirlwind tour with a friend.  By the end, I concocted a bigger and better plan for my return.  I wanted to be able to travel without the obligations of work or school, and without the constraint of time and money.  In a distant plan that I never dared to voice to anyone, I had hoped to spend a two months in each country, one month working, the second month traveling – while learning the language fluently of course – but more than anything, I wanted the freedom to move, discover, and imagine. 
As my date for departure drew near, I began to feel less and less prepared.  There was something comforting about the familiar.  Bilbo Baggins in J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit was on the brink of his great adventure and fear crept up on him and he would long for his hobbit hole where a rocking chair sat in front of a warm fire. 
In retrospect, maybe I hadn’t moved as far as I thought when I came to New Jersey; I had only moved from one family of seven to another seven – a mom and dad, two kids, a dog, and two cats.  The children had grown to become my siblings, and their parents, my surrogates.  I was ending a segment of my life distinctively, the kids finishing school, me finishing college and my job as their caretaker. 
People thought I was brave to now travel Europe alone, but I no longer felt like bravery had a whole lot to do with my decision.  July 5th, 2001 I sat in Oklahoma City Airport with my mom and dad – crying.  Is it the insinuation of the word “terminal” that invokes emotional crises just before boarding a plane? 
My parents were unnervingly supportive of my independence – but I was feeling pretty much finished with this whole independent phase – feeling more than ready to return under the sheltering wing of my parents’ household.  No longer could I see adventure, rather it was self-indulgent wandering.  There were so many other things I could do – Should I be volunteering in a Third World country instead? At this point, anything could have qualified as an adventure.  I could pursue a career through the contacts I had made in New Jersey, return to school, return home to Minnesota and spend time with my family, or even remain with my newborn nephew here in Oklahoma City.  I had the world in front of me and I was choosing to travel Europe?

Yet if Bilbo hadn’t left, he would have never learned of his capacity for courage. 

Fear sneaks into decisions and struggles often dissuading risk taking.  There are days I wished I never left the safety under my parent’s roof.  I credit much of my so-called bravery to my confidence in the love and faith of my family.  It is because of their expressive support and belief in a Father whose eyes are all-reaching, that I never feel far away. 
The following entries were the letters I wrote home to family, so they could see too.

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