what we pass down

I don't know how things are passed down to our children. Okay genetics.  But really, it's shocking.  Tuana throws little tantrums.  They are actually hilarious, but I have a horrible suspicion she may have picked that up from me.  Tuana also sleeps sometimes with both hands behind her head - she's done this since about 3 months old - its exactly how Tolga sleeps.  Tomris is really loud and is often squawking her complaints, instantly.  I did not see myself as a complainer, but Tolga says she sounds like me.  I guess in private, that's how I am.  Tomris says things like, "This is awesome."  I try not to use that word, so I don't think she got it from me, but my mom says it ... so did Tomris hear it or is "awesome" imbedded in her genes?  Teoman is extremely sensitive to shows - I have always been as well.  Genetic?

After Teoman's surgery we had to force him to get up and walk.  It was horrible.  He was in pain from the air and trapped gas, from the surgery site, from fear, from possibly other problems we didn't know about.  He started agreeing he would, "a little bit later."  It was really stressful, but I pushed down my fear and was stern with him,

  "Teoman, you don't have a choice here.  We are going for a walk.  We are going to help you, but you have to do it.  I know it hurts.  I'm so sorry about that.  But you must walk to get better.  We are walking."  

  We walked a couple of steps and Teoman begged, "Can we take a break now?"

When I was about 20, I had dislocated my shoulder reaching into the backseat of the car.  At the hospital, a young orthopedic doctor came in to reduce my shoulder and I was terrified.  I had popped my shoulder out many times before this point, and it was always excruciating - but I it had gone back in on it's own before the doctors did anything.  This was the first time I had gotten to this point - ambulance ride, ER, drugs that hardly did a thing, doctors - and now the "show time" doctor.  They were ordering me to relax - every fiber of me was flight or fight and the pain had my arm up and locked out of position.  I was SURE if they pulled on my arm, something would snap in two.  They wrapped a sheet around my body and some guys pulled in one direction while the doctor took my hand and pulled in the other like some horrific medieval torture.  He pulled and twisted and put his foot in my armpit to get more leverage and pull harder.  I fought back.  It was all so horrifying, and at one point I squeaked out, "How about we take a break?"  

I was bargaining, and somehow - already at this young age - Teoman was bargaining too with he pain and its perpetrators.